Friday, April 5, 2013
Yesterday was a really rough day for me in my recovery. I was dealing with some really strong cravings/obsessions that I was not certain I was going to fight my way out of. However, I am happy to report that I remained abstinent last night, did not binge or purge and successfully have 25 days of Abstinence!!!!
Normally, I am really good at minimizing my accomplishments... but Today I am turning over a new leaf, and I am going to shout from the roof tops that this is a BIG FREAKING DEAL!!!
It took a lot to get me here today. After leaving class I spent some time making outreach calls to fellows, reading the big book, sat uncomfortably planning a binge during an OA meeting and
forced myself made the conscious decision to go out for tea until 10:30pm last night with some ladies from group last night talking about life, love and the pursuit of recovery. I would be lying if I didn't say that I was still planning to go home and binge while I was sitting with them, or thinking about food... but while I was driving home something came over me and I was able to tell myself ( or maybe my HP was telling me) that I did NOT need to go home and binge. That I was going to be OK, and I would make it through last night without breaking my abstinence. I had done ALL the things I was suppose to do, and now I was going to be rewarded.
I got home, made myself a large glass of soda water and put myself to bed with some Law and Order: SVU. I feel wonderful right now, and as if I can take on the world... which is a great thing, because I am getting ready to go in to my second interview for second year placement!!!
Any whoo... I also just finished up my second therapy session with Dr. Marson, and she had nothing but encouragement and wonderful tips for me to try and test out this week (even though I told her I thought about relapsing last night because I thought it would make for a more interesting session). I'll have to go in to that more later, but for now I want to post my AEIOU's from yesterday that I forgot...
A- HELL YES I was ABSTINENT!!!
E- I took a slow 4 mile run and did the rowing machine for 15 minutes. I also decided that I am no longer going to run more than 3 days in a row. It's on the Internet now, so it must be official ;)
I- I went to ANY lengths possible to keep myself abstinent
O- I spoke with a new comer, honestly, about program and made her feel welcome :) I also gave her my number :)
U- I may be an exercise bulimic... and it really scares me. But that is not something that I can solve right now, so I am just going to ponder it for awhile and let it work itself out :)
That's all I have time for right now, but I will MOST CERTAINLY be back!!!
Stay Classy, San Diego!!!!