Saturday, January 3, 2015

Happy New Years!

January 2, 2015
So, I realize that New Years was a day ago, but I’m just finally getting around to writing. It’s pretty crazy, because I feel like 2014 went by SOOOO fast, that I never really had time to catch up to it. At first, I didn’t think that much had happened in 2014, but then when I really got to thinking, I realized I went through SO much.

In January, I went to Vegas and danced my ass off in a tiny little dress. If you know me, you know that this is a big freaking deal. I’m always very self conscious… and it is not easy for me to just let go. That trip was not very memorable for anything other than that. I also ran the Tinkerbell Half Marathon this month (one of my favorite races) and even got up early to run 4 miles before the race to complete 17 miles for my LA Marathon Training. I’m pretty bad ass like that!

In February, I became a supervisor. That’s pretty weird… because I have never seen myself as being someone who would supervise people. And here I am about to complete a year of doing so. Its only part time, but I really enjoy it, and feel like it keeps me growing

In March, I ran a fucking marathon. I ran The LA Marathon, to be exact. Initially I wasn’t too happy about it, but it will forever be the best and worst day of my life and I will never forget it. Yeah I didn’t finish in the time I wanted to, but I did PR… and that’s still pretty freaking awesome. And I have an awesome story about puking in a push at mile 23 that will knock your socks off. I still haven’t decided if I will ever run a Marathon again, but for now… I feel pretty great.

In April, I almost ended my relationship. It was a really tough year for Tyler and I. We were suppose to take a break, but that didn’t really happen (and I’m glad I didn’t). This might not seem like a very “positive” accomplishment, but it was in a lot of ways. I never really take a stand for myself in relationships, and this was the first time I had ever really done that. It was terrifying, upsetting, and all around empowering and I’m ever grateful for it. I’m also pretty sure that this was the month I celebrated not purging for 1 entire year!!! I remember a time when this seemed absolutely impossible to complete. Now, it seems like a distant memory that I don’t think I ever actually sat down and celebrated :/. I also had the most amazing trip to Washington, DC. I had never been, and I went with my best friend, and I ran, and ate and drank and had the best time of my life! (It seems like April was a REALLY good month for me.

In May, I bought the most WONDERFUL pet in the world, Gil the Fish! Sadly, Gil is no longer with us (Tyler over fed him he got bloated and died)... but for the 6 months we had him... he was AMAZING!

In June, I graduated from Graduate School. I’m an MSW, and I have the student loans to prove it :D. This was probably one of the hardest things I have EVER done in my entire life… and I did it. Thanks to the love and support of my family, my friends, and of course my loving therapist who kept my head on straight ;D

In July, “I got my first Big Girl Job”. Fresh out of college, I was one of the first to get hired as an MSW. Its been a really rocky road, and I’m not sure that I’ll stay at this job forever, but it has been an absolutely amazing learning experience and I have met some of the most Amazing people doing so. I have insurance, I have a 403B and I make a pretty sizeable income. I also Turned 28… Which is pretty great. I had an amazing pool party with Tyler playing with his Beatles Band. 2 more years to 30!!!

In August, Tyler and I moved in together. We have been together for soooo long, and it took us forever to finally reach this point in our relationship. It has been one of the best opportunities, and I could not be any happier than I am right now. He is the yin to my yang, the cleaner of my messes, and the man who loving tells me the food I cook is good…even if it’s not.

In September, I apparently didn’t do ANYTHING!!! I really tried to look, and I don’t think it was very eventful :/

In October, I ran the Nike Women’s half marathon in San Francisco. I hadn’t been to San Francisco in about 10 years, and I almost didn’t run this race. My training had been really off, my hip had been in significant pain, and I really just didn’t think I had it in me to complete this race. But, I pulled myself together and completed one of the most DIFFICULT races of my life. And, I got some pretty amazing bling to show for it. Not to mention, San Francisco was AMAZING! It a little expensive and a little hilly, but worth it. I also got to have my first Halloween at home. I had TWO trick or treaters… and they were marvelous!

In November, I PR’d a 5k hard core. I ran the Tofurkey Trot (yes, a turkey trot for vegetarians).. and I came in with a disgustingly powerful sub 25 minute PR. It made me really happy, and the event was  a lot of fun. And I baked my first pie! Everyone told me it was good… but when I eventually tried it… I realized THEY LIED!

In December, My entire life changed.  I had to do some of the most difficult things in this month. I found out I was pregnant and made the appropriate decision to not continue the pregnancy. While I fully support my decision, I wish that I had never had to be put in that position in the first place. It might not be something that plagues me every minute of every day… but it is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I was not ready to be a mother, and I made a very dumb mistake to have unprotected sex. I am grateful for my right to choose what to do with my body and that I have a loving partner who supported me through it. Tyler and I also celebrated 7 years together and we had our first Christmas together in our new apartment. I didn’t get engaged (and I’m TOTALLY not upset about it or anything…. LIES)… but it was still a great holiday season!

And now the year is OVER!!!

Looking back on the year I have a couple of things I would like to “Resolve” and continue to work on.

1. GET ENGAGED. I realize that I don’t necessarily have a say in this one, but it’s still on my list

2. Work Less. I work way too much. I have two jobs, dedicated to Suicide Prevention and its exhausting. This year I should stop working so much and give myself some time.

3. Keep on running!!! I would like to run more this year than I did in the past year. There were a lot of transitions, pains and pauses in my running, and it made me sad not to see as many races in my line up. I would like to do 1 race a month this year (of any distance) to keep myself in the running game.

4. Travel More!!! I had so much fun with my little vacations this year, but I’m ready for bigger adventures. Ideally I would like to travel to Europe with Tyler during the summer. I think with enough coaxing, I can get him to do it with me J

5. Continue to respect my body. While I do not always have the best eating or exercise habits, I have continued to remain purge free! This is always a priority to me, and I want to continue to remain in the best health I can in the New Year.

6. Read MORE! Ideally a book a month would be good. Gotta start somewhere!!!

7. Do something AMAZING in September 2015. Seems to make the most sense.

I know that resolutions are supposed to be LIFE changing and altering, but I like the idea of low expectations. This is solid enough, and accomplishable (wow, I cant believe that is a word).

Alright, my wine is kicking in and my handsome prince has not arrived home yet to eat dinner with me, so I guess I’m going to start without him.