This is my first time blogging from a Starbucks, and so far, I like it :)
Tyler had to go take care of some, "Official Contractors Business", so I took this opportunity to get myself some caffeine and some much needed blogging done.
I know I haven’t been keeping up on my blog the way I would like to (and I promise I will stop apologizing for it), but adjusting to this new schedule is actually killing me. Thank goodness this week coming up is not quite so frantic, and I may actually be able to enjoy myself at a couple points during the week.
Friday was a quick day. I went running around UCLA or 50 minutes to complete Day 2 of Marathon Training, and then I met on campus with my "debrief group" to go over some frustrations, successes and dramas at our internships. The run went pretty well. It was pretty hilly and posed quite the challenge, but I managed to extend the run even further than I did last time.
I was trying to avoid talking about mine, because I feel so ambivalent about it right now. I didn't want to come off to this group of people as a Debbie Downer or a Cathy Complainer, but my sharing with the group was inevitable. Strangely, now I know how my clients feel when I make them share during group work :/. I might not be so hard on them now when they don't feel like sharing. I talked about how I didn't like the way the 2nd year interns were sort of tainting my experience and how I'm not sure how to handle working with my supervisor. The group offered a lot of positive feedback and some suggestions... but realistically, I still feel the same about my placement. I know it's only week 2, so there is plenty of time for this whole situation to turn around. I guess only time will tell. After that I FINALLY returned the Purple top to the bathing suit that I bought back in July!!! I finally figured out why I felt SO uncomfortable in it... It was a size too small. I ordered it in a D, but needed a DD. (woops!).
After I ran that errand, I spent the remainder of the day trying to clean, and lying around in bed helpless. I had a huge migraine that would not go away!!! So I nursed it back to health the only way I knew how... by being a lazy B**CH!!! Saturday was almost as uneventful. Tyler spent the night at my house, so we woke up, had breakfast and went for a quick walk around the neighborhood. It was pretty hot, so we kept it short and sweet :) Then I got to go meet my BFF Talia Israel for lunch at Sharky's!!! We decided to try something new this time. (sorry, I forgot to take pictures). Tyler ordered the Naked Tofu Fajita bowl, and I ordered two Veggie and tofu tacos with rice and black beans. Although they were delicious... I think next time I will stick to my usual.
|This is SOOO not my picture... I stole it from Google Images|
I spent the rest of my Saturday evening at work playing Uno, and being serenaded to Chicago's "Fight For Your Honor", and trying not to eat everything in site. Well, I did finally manage to take out some time and COMPLETELY work out MY FIRST MARATHON TRAINING SCHEDULE!!! Although I have already had to make some tweaks to what I created, I think overall it is going to be excellent. I am going to make some edits, and then post it for everyone to see :)
I am a little concerned though, mainly because I don’t feel that I am mentally where I need to be to start preparing for a Marathon. Back when I first started this whole 12 races in 12 months challenge, I was motivated up the Wazoo (yes that it a technical term). Right now, I feel like I am fighting with myself to get back into a routine. I'm not really excited by the upcoming mile challenges, and I dread doing my smaller runs. I know that there is no way that I can keep up with training and be successful with this mentality for the next few months.
I read other blogger's who are in the height of their training and completing 20 mile runs, and I feel like there is no way I could EVER do that. I'm not even sure that I can or want to get up tomorrow and complete a 30 minute run. I'm not sure what happened to my spunk, enthusiasm and motivation since I got back from Bend... But I would REALLY like to have it back.
The sad part is, it's not only my running that I feel I am lacking in, its almost every aspect of my life. I feel like I'm a lack luster employee, a less than spectacular intern and a sub-par live at home daughter. Any of you who know me, know that I don't really really wear make-up (like... not even for those "special occasions" that your suppose to wear it for). But lately, I've noticed that almost every other female in the world DOES!!! Am I less of a woman because I don't like to get "dolled" up, or take the extra 10 minutes in the morning to look a little more presentable?!?!
|Me... without makeup.. Making up happiness (In my Palm Tree dress!!!)|
I JUST DON'T KNOW!
I kept hoping that I would snap out of this funk, and it doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. Each morning I wake up and I think, "How crucial is it that I get out of bed today?!?!" Man... now that I look at it, I sound REALLY depressed. There was a time when running would fix all this for me, but now, I feel like it is only putting the pressure on me even more.
I've been trying to find some suggestions online about how to put the boost back in my run or how to feel more motivated and I haven't found anything just yet. I think I need to go back and reevaluate why it is I do what I do (as far as running goes).
But I think that is a blog topic for another day. I'm sorry if I just put anyone else into the "Funk" that I am in. I'm about to go spend the day with Tyler and try to break out of it.
What are some things that you do to try and get yourself out of a funk?!?! Do you like wearing makeup, or going "O-Natural?!?"