Today has been an extraordinary day for me in so many ways... and now I get to share some of them with you :)
First, I SLEPT in!!! Stuff is going DOWN at my internship right now, so we were given some time off until the dust settles. Being that yesterday was Daylights savings time... I took advantage of the leisure time and slept until almost 9am.
Next, I RAN!!! I casually got out of bed, and made my way outside for quick 5 miler. We are getting some prime Spring weather right now, so the temperature was sunny, but not warm. I lathered up with some sunscreen and got to steppin'. My runs have been pretty consistent lately, and I've really gotten down an 8:20 average. I love that... and am hoping to keep it there for awhile.
Then I ATE! I won't bore you with my food diary (since I eat the same thing almost everyday), but know that it was delicious, and I enjoyed it while spending some good quality time with my mama watching bad day time Television and pretending to work on my finals.
Then I got a MASSAGE!!! I have been in desperate need of one for quite some time. I had to cancel my last appointment with DC (the best sport masseur in the world), so this was way over due. DC is my favorite, because he always gives me a little extra ;) GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTERS!!! By "EXTRAS" I mean that he gave me a great 6 minute tutorial on how to foam roll!!! It felt delicious, and made my hour long massage in my HOME even more delicious.
Then I did some WORK!!! OK... I KINDA did some work. I met with my supervisor for an hour and a half and then made my way to coffee bean to try and do some work on my take home final. I also enjoyed a No sugar added Chai Tea Latte... my absolute favorite drink in the world
Finally (and arguably most importantly), I went to my FIRST OA MEETING. For those of you who don't know, this is Overeater's Anonymous. They are a fellowship of individuals who suffer from compulsive over eating and a dedicated to providing a solution for others who still suffer.
The first time I ever went to OA was about 7(ish) years ago. I was really young, really scared and extremely intimidated. I didn't even stay for the entire meeting, and ran out thinking that I was destined to suffer through this alone. This might be why I have been fighting going to another meeting since :( However, my constant battle between sobriety, relapse and addiction has shown me that I CAN NOT do this on my own, and that I need to open myself to the help that is waiting for me.
I actually attempted to go to a meeting last night, but arrived at 6pm nervous, scared and anxious to an empty parking lot and an even more empty meeting room. In the moment, I felt defeated, and I was ready to give up on OA before I even gave it a chance. After I took a deep breath, and re thought about things, I realized that there was a mailbox with flyers in it. I took a flyer, and quickly ran back to my car, tears welling in my eyes because I had NO idea what to do next. On the flyer was a list of names and numbers for 24 hour "Hot line" member and an email list. I choose the meetings representatives email and quickly (before I changed my mind) sent an email BEGGING for assistance. She responded with an email almost immediately with the link to the current roster. I decided that I would give OA one more chance and attempt to attend another meeting.
Tonight was such a success... that I cant even believe that it happened. An experience that was night and day to my very first time trying to get help. I was immediately greeted by welcoming faces, warm greetings and nothing but love and support. Ironically, it was in the same room that I use to go to Girl Scouts in... so it sort of felt "comfortable". It was a speakers meeting, which mean one person speaks for 20 minutes, before everyone else gets a chance to "pitch" for about 3 minutes. Her story really spoke to me... well all of there stories has SOMETHING to offer me, and for once I felt that there was hope for me, and that I could live without feeling like food was going to control me for the rest of my life.
I took my "Newcomer's" Chip (not, chips and salsa), and proudly proclaimed that my name was Christina, and I was a compulsive Over-eater. I had tears welling in my eyes for most of the hour, and I felt so silly. I had been fighting this for so long and to finally feel a release of pain and suffering, even for just one moment... I was just truly grateful!
I am
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