Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Check In

I know I never write in this anymore, so I'm NOT going to pretend as though I am going to start making this a habit... but every once and awhile, I feel compelled to write... and today is one of those days.

First, lets talk about running :). Running is going VERY well. I decided to do a 13-13.1-2013 challenge at the end of last year and so far it has been a success. I ran the Tinkerbell Half Marathon back in January, and PR'd with a 1:47:37 (HOLY SMOKES!!!) Right after that I came down with the flu and could not run for almost 2 weeks :(. However, I managed to get back in the game and have been running on a pretty good routine. I also ran the Seaside Half Marathon just this past Sunday and finished in about 1:49:17. It was a wonderful race, and I had a really good experience with one of the women that I was pacing with for the majority of the race once we crossed the finish line. Let's just say it was an emotional moment that involved me crying my eyes out for a good chunk of the way home because we were each others "running angels". It still makes me a little teary eyed when I think about it.

Binging and Purging... well that still happens, but I am finding that I am doing it less often and with longer breaks in between them. I don't know about you guys but I have always been more of a "taper" sorta girl than a "cold turkey" one. So in my book, this is good progress. And my motto has always been "Progress, not Perfection". My goal is to one day have my binges be so far apart that I am just in sobriety and recovery.

To help me, I came up with some great Ideas today. It all started with a dream I had about being pregnant last night. I have always heard that this was a symbol of New Beginnings, so I am going to take advantage of my symbol and put it too good use.

I think part of my problem is that I never really think of my accomplishments as successes. Too often I then begin to think about the long road I have ahead of me to keep up that "good work". Well, if you don't reward yourself for doing a good job, then what is the point in doing it?!? So, I have decided I need to come up with some sort of motivational reward system for my Binge Free time accumulated. The rules are that the Rewards can NOT be food related. I feel that rewarding myself with food is what has created many of the relationship issues that I currently have with food, and it is not fair to continue that volatile cycle with myself. Instead, I am going to choose items that I want to buy for myself, but put off because I cant truly afford them. However, reaching a certain amount of "sober" time means that I get to purchase the item for myself :).... Everybody wins. I will earn a 2 week credit (because that is the longest I have been able to stay sober recently), 30 day, 60 day, 90 day, 6 months, 9 months and a year :) Of course, I am allowed some extra rewards if I so see fit.... but lets take this

My first prize at two weeks is going to be a foot massage. My tootsies deserve some pampering

30 day prize is an item from the old navy active ware line (either the purple or salmon shirt I really want)

60 days prize is the Venus dress I want so desperately... and I could order it just in time for SUMMER!!!

I have to think more on the prizes beyond that, but I think for now that is about as far in to the future as I can handle. So, wish me luck!!!

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