Monday, June 3, 2013

My Reason for Living

Today was a GREAT day... although not very productive :/ In fact, I just decided two hours ago that I am changing the topic of my paper that is due on Thursday (Yikes!), so now any of the little work I DID do... is null and void.

I don't know how you feel, but I liked the way I did my AEIOU's yesterday, so I am going to do it again... because I like it :)

Abstinence- Yes. and sober with my food

Breakfast: 1/2 cup oats with berries and banana, 3 egg whites and 1 yolk, kale, mushrooms, salsa, black olives and avocado
Lunch: Homemade Vegetarian Soup with Feta cheese
Snack: Greek Yogurt parfait- Plain yogurt, Cheerio's Medley cereal, almonds, homemade applesauce and a couple cherries (aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh mazing!!!!!!!!)
Dinner: Veggie Burger on flatbread with grilled veggies

Exercise: I was extremely blessed to be given the gift of another overcast and chilly morning. This is my absolute favorite weather to run in, and it made for a blissful 6.11 mile run this morning. I'm still "breaking in" my new Brooks Ravenna 4's... and they were a little uncomfortable today. I think i am going to try putting my athletic inserts in to see if it provides more cushioning for my feet.

What I did for myself: I woke up and read some literature, I "lazied" around, I did not compulsively buy EVERYTHING cute at target, I went to a meeting. I

What I did for Others: I took my mom for her surgery at 5:30am this morning. I held her hand while they inserted the needle into her port, and reassured her that everything would be OK when she cried. I sat with her until she was taken to be anesthetized. I checked in on two fellows, I was present for a fellow after the meeting and made some solid suggestions.

What did I Uncover: Food is a life source, and not my reason for living. While I was running, I had a very interesting meditation come to my mind about how I view food. I suppose it turned into more a mantra that I kept repeating, but it feel very liberating to have these thoughts:

Food is not a reward for doing something good and it is not a punishment for not being a "perfect" human being. Food is neither my friend when I feel I have no one else to turn to, or my enemy in times of anger and frustration. Food can not provide me with comfort when I am hurt or sad and it is not the solution to any of my problems. Food is not something to hate, or love to fear or worship. I does not understand my problems and can not empathize with my feelings. Food can not Food is fuel. Food is a nutritious substance that is consumed in order to sustain life, provide energy and  promote growth. 
Food is a life source, and not my reason for living.

I may not be completely convinced of this yet, but it is the truth. I have been using food to serve functions that it is not meant to serve. Reminding myself of this is the only way that I am going to learn how to properly use it, and not abuse it.

What a day! Now time to keep it going :) Good night!

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