Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thankful Thanksgiving

Wow, I can't believe that I have been out of commission for over a month. A lot has happened in the very short amount of time... and many of it was not good.

My mother was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer on October 10, and was rushed in to surgery on Saturday the 13th. It was as if my world stopped. I wanted nothing but to spend as much time as possible in the hospital with my mother. I gave everything in my life the bare minimum for the following week, and in some cases, not even that. She was in the hospital for 10 days, and has been in recovery since. She began chemo before she left the hospital, and has at least 5 more rounds to go.

Mom is healing fairly well, and slowly but surely I am returning to a sense of normalcy. I've missed two races, and have decided not to compete in my first Marathon on December 26th, because my mom is going in for her 3rd round of chemo on that day. I haven't been able to be there for her as much as I would like to because of all my commitments, but I feel it is only right that I not run it. I'm going to request that my bib be given to someone else, or ask for my position to be held until the 2013 race, but we will see how it goes.

This last month and a half has been really tough for me, and in many ways I have completely shut down. Stress at home, stress from school, and stress from all of my relationships began to overwhelm me. I stopped running because I didn't have time, I stopped writing for the same reason and diet took a trip out the window. All my free moments went to my mother, or resting to keep up my strengths for all of my other responsibilities. There were quite a few times that I felt absolutely hopeless. I couldn't even stay strong for the woman who needed me most :/

I have been battling a cold for the past week and haven't been doing much running... so I decided not to compete in the Topanga Turkey Trot 15k this morning. Instead, I decided to take a nice smaller run around my neighborhood, and really reflect on all the things that I have to be thankful for.

I am thankful for the health and wellness of my family, even if it is not quite at an ideal level. I know that This is just a little blip in the road for our family and we are all going to become stronger for it.

I am thankful for the wonderful education that I am receiving at UCLA. Sometimes the school work becomes stressful, and I do not always agree with the "process" that everyone keeps telling me to trust, but I know that this is where I am suppose to be.

I am thankful for the strength and guidance of my Grandmother. She truly is my rock, and without her I would be completely lost. I hope that one day I can be half the woman that she is.

I am thankful for all of the wonderful opportunities that I have had this year, even if I haven't been able to fully appreciate or take advantage of them.

I am thankful for my ability to adapt, adjust, and move forward. I know that these last few months have not worked out quite the way I would like them too, but I am learning that this is not always a bad thing.

Finally, I am thankful that it is never too late to make a change.

I'm hoping to be able to start updating more, to start some different running challenges, and to get back in touch with my basics. I hope you decide to come along with me :)

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