Monday, July 1, 2013

The Most Wonderful Month of the Year!!!

HAPPY JULY 1st, everyone!!!

This is my favorite time of year. It's summertime, I don't have any school obligations, my 21st, 25th, 27th birthday is less than two weeks away, I get to catch up on all the wonderful things I DIDN'T do during the school year, and everyone just seems to be in a much better place. I am looking at this month as a rebirth for myself. Not a do over, but a rebirth.

The last few months have been very challenging for me to stick to a regiment and on plan. I have gained a substantial amount of weight (I haven't actually weight myself so I don't know exactly how much) and I am having some trouble fitting into most of my clothes and the rest I am just insanely uncomfortable in. You would think this would have been enough to keep me out of the food and in the exercise groove... but it was not. Instead it kept me right where The Disease wanted me... feeling pathetic, pitiful, hating myself and just wanting to never get out of bed or the food.

But something clicked with me on Saturday and I started to come out of the swamp that I had created. However, instead of doing it "full steam ahead" as I have usually done. I am making small changes a little at a time, and accepting that I am not the same person that I was at my peak in April. That does not mean that i can not ever return to the state of living... it just means that I can not be there now and that is ok.

Anyways, I am trying to focus on eating "healthy" foods (lots of fruits and veggies, lean proteins, healthy fats and carbs) and keeping my meals balanced. I'm also trying to focusing on my OA program. I started checking in with my Sponsor every morning at 8:45 to red two pages of the big book and just discuss it. I really stopped sending her my foods and my AEIOU's, but I think slowly I will start getting back to doing that.

Sometimes I feel like program and recovery just becomes very overwhelming. So I am going to do what I can, and not beat myself up if I cant do it. I am also trying to work on not "planning" out everything as much. I've found that I do better when I have structure, but I do not need to be worrying about Wednesdays structure when it is only Sunday.

I have some goals for This week and for July as a whole

This week:
1) Eat 3 balanced meals and two optional snacks (carbs, fat and protein) with no snacking in between.
2) Log all of my foods everyday
3) Complete question 2 from my OA workbook
5) Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day every day
6) No binging on TV (more than 3 hours in a set)

Month of July
1) Enjoy my Birthday by not celebrating with food
2) Find a good balance of recovery and relaxation
3) Attain 30 days of eating cleaning without bingeing

I will do my best to update you guys on my progress. Have a great First day of July!

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