Hi There! Happy Wednesday!
I totally thought I posted this on Monday... but didnt :/
I've been THAT out of it this week.
Are you adjusting to daylight savings time? (NO!) Do you miss that extra hour? (YES!) Do you wish that we stayed with longer daylight all year round (YES!)
This time of year is always bittersweet for me. I hate losing an hour, but I love gaining the fact that there is still light out on my drive home at 5:30pm. It's not too hard of an adjustment for me past the first day because I'm up before the sun regardless, but I know it messes with a lot of people. If you're one of them, I'm sorry. Be gentle and remember "This too shall pass!"
I was fairly quiet last week, and was way too exhausted this weekend to post. I did my long run on Saturday this week instead of Sunday (in order to beat the time change and the heat)... but it seems I failed miserably at both attempts.
I had 11 miles on the calendar and set out to crush them with excellence... I feel a little short.
My first two miles, I was battling some GI issues. I went TWICE before leaving my grandparents house and still felt like I needed to stop and use the restroom near the golf course at mile 2. I stopped, no poo, and got back out there. Thankfully that subsided and my middle 7 miles were excellent. Then the bonk came for the last 2 miles. By that time the sun was out in full force and I was not. I really struggled to get those last 2 miles done and my time dwindled and dwindled. I actually almost stopped right at mile 11, but I was SO close to the finish (my grandmas block) that I out loud pushed myself to keep running.
HARDEST RUN EVER!!! Total of 11.15 miles at an 8:37 pace.
I had a really hard time getting out of my own head and not beating myself up for the rest of the weekend.
How am I suppose to run 12 miles next week and then run a race the weekend after? If I feel this bad at 11 miles, how will I EVER be able to make it to 26.2 again? So much fear, doubt and just plain rudeness I placed on myself instead of just reminding myself that sometimes bad runs just happen. In fact, they happen more often than not.
I was reading the most recent post by Tina Muir on her website about struggling through runs and it said this:
"...We know that running brings up and downs, and we
know that the more downs there are, the better the ups feel. It is
moments like that really determine how much you want it, how well you
are going to do in the future. It is not the moments where everything is
going well that make you run fast and achieve those big goals, it is
the moment where you are truly tested, where every fiber in your being
wants to quit, but you do not."
In short, they cant all be winners, and they cant all be perfect. THESE are the runs where we learn the most about ourselves and about our runs.These are the runs that make us stronger and better at what we do.
SO what did this run teach me?
1. I don't do well in heat. Starting earlier will always be best for me. Those extra 30 minutes of lying in bed just are not worth it.
2. I may need to change my pre-run fuel. My tried and true banana and peanut butter may be whats giving me these more frequent GI issues. I'm going to try switching to oatmeal this weekend and see how its goes.
3. I can run for 11 miles in "normal" running shorts and not die! This was a big one for me. I knew it was hot out and compression shorts didn't sound good at all. So, I took a chance and ran with my regular running shorts. A few years ago I would have never even walked out of my house with shorts like those on because I hated my thighs and assumed that everyone else around me would hate them too! Then, even when I had more confidence in myself and my body I still feared that running that long with shorts would cause major irritation in my thighs. I am happy to report that I had NO chafing, NO irritation, and that I don't think I even worried ONCE about whether or not people saw my thighs jiggle. In fact... I purchased 2 more pair of shorts to parade around in this spring/summer because it felt so good to run in them!
4. Just Don't Give Up. Its not an option (in this case). Either way you have to make it back home and walking will only make it worse.
5. Mantras are Important. When I wanted to give up so bad I just kept repeating, "You're still moving, keep running, You're almost there." This really helped me push through those tough times. I will be saving that one for the books.
Here were my workouts for the week:
Monday: Cross Training (45 minutes)- Pinterest Workout
Tuesday: 5.2 mile run @ 8:16 pace
Wednesday: 5.26 mile run @ 8:34 pace (Hills)
Thursday: 6.2 mile run @ 8:47 pace (easy)
Friday: REST DAY
Saturday: 11 mile run @ 8:37pace
Sunday 5.25 miles run @ 8:44 pace
Talk soon!
This blog was started as a story about my journey on the road to recovery from bulimia on to the healthy lifestyle that I have always wanted. I utilize running, exercise and balanced eating to create my healthiest self. Follow along as I complete my Fourth Year of abstinence from purging and train for my second marathon.
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
10 Most Influential People In My Running Life
Hello and Happy Wednesday!!!
We're halfway through the week, and I hope yours has been going well. Mine has been a little wonky, but I think I'm over the bulk of it (read that I'm finally accepting that my period is here and not dying from exhaustion, headaches and irritability) and I think it's going to be a great end to the week.
It's really tough to get motivated during that time of the month (and all the days leading up to it), but I know that my PMS symptoms would feel even worse if I didn't have a regular exercise routine and generally good eating habits. It's funny to think that at one point like 10 years ago I was actually so unhealthy that I had Amenorrhea (an abnormal absence of menstruation). It is really common in female athletes who train really hard and push themselves to the extreme in order to be under their ideal weight. I think it is most commonly seen in ballet dancers, gymnasts and I'm sure it runs rampant in the running community as well. You can read more about it and what is called "The Female Athlete Triad" here.
Anywhoo, my case of amenorrhea appeared within the first two years of me "getting healthy" through extreme behaviors and I had lost way too much weight and was not eating enough to sustain the exercise I was doing, or was vomiting it up routinely. It only lasted a couple months, but it was pretty intense. I didn't know much about it then, but it definitely scares the living daylights out of me now. Just another reason to take care of my body to the best of my ability.
I guess with all that being said, I should be grateful that I have a period, because it reminds me that I'm healthy and "normal"!
Even with my low energy, some nasty GI issues (I'll spare you details) and intense moods the last couple of days I have managed to get in some pretty Kick-Ass workouts.
On Monday I did this fun little workout from my favorite website Popsugar.
I knew I wanted something a little less intense than the workouts I have been doing, and this was PERFECT for that. I felt like these moves hit a lot of those little spots that we commonly ignore when doing core work or with exercise in general.
Yesterday I had 5 miles on the schedule. I tend to run a faster pace on my Tuesday runs and had planned on doing some sprints today, but for a moment there this morning I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make out of my house! I had to go back inside and use the restroom TWICE before I was finally able to get my run underway. I'm not sure if it's something I ate, or if I'm just having a tough time in the restroom today... but I think it's finally all done with (and I'm hoping so)
Even with that... it ended up being a pretty amazing run. I completed 5.2 miles in 43 minutes (8:16pace). I was SUPER shocked when I saw this on my Garmin at the end of the run. I was not expecting it at all.
I've been trying this new thing on my runs where I cover my Garmin during my runs so that I can start to just "run by feel". I don't do this on "speed work" days and have only been half applying it on my long runs and the jury is still out. I was trying to use it to help slow me down a little bit, but honestly, I feel like it's making me faster!
One of the other new things I've been doing is listening to Podcasts during my commute to and from work. I just couldn't handle listening to the radio anymore and needed to change it up, and I'm sooooo glad that I did! I've found 3 running podcasts that I listen to religiously and one intuitive eating podcast that I just started (Reviews to Come).
One of the Podcasts is from a blogger that I've been following for a couple years, Ali on the Run. Ali has Chron's disease, but is a total kick ass runner and dog lover who lives in New York and she's just wonderful. She recently started her podcast The Ali on the Run Show and it is giving me LIFE! She only has a few episodes but each one has been more amazing and inspirational than the last. Her podcast is interview style and its just very laid back, fun and informative. Give it a listen if you get a chance.
Today she posted an episode about her 10 most influential people in her running life. Her list was amazing and it got me thinking about Who would be on my list?
So now I'm going to give you that list!
10. Meb Keflezighi. While I'm not really into to Main stream runners ( I only know a handful) this man is a common name in my household. I love watching him run and feel that he is amazing. I would love to get to run with him someday and just talk to him about what he eats, his favorite pajamas and how he likes to spend his down time. Cheers to you Meb for being an American Runner of Color!
9. Katherine Switzer. The First woman to run the Boston Marathon. because... how could you not? Her story is harrowing, brave and inspirational. To overcome the odds and prove the elite running community wrong... and its the 50th anniversary year of her completing that race. What an amazing triumph to women everywhere!
8. My Boyfriend. Adam is the absolute greatest thing since sliced bread. He believes in me 100% and is so accommodating and encouraging when it comes to my running. I cannot wait for us to do our first race together this month at the Paso Robles Half Marathon and see how he catches the racing bug for himself.
7. Alison Desir. This is a new running Idol for me who I got to know much better from the Ali on the Run show Podcast. Alison started the Harlem Run movement to get people of color moving in the streets of Harlem, but is probably more famously known for her Run for All Women to help raise money to fund Planned Parenthood following the 2016 election. Alison is a runner and an activist which makes her an amazing human being. Her appearance on the Ali on the Run Show got me all teary eyed and motivated and once you start scoping her out I bet she'll do the same to you.
6. Monica from Run, Eat, Repeat. This is gonna sound silly, but Monica was the first blogger I found and fell in love with (not romantically, but in the "I wanna be just like her when I grow up" kinda way). I love her blog because its all things food, running and randomness... just like ME! I imagine that if we lived closer, Monica and I would be friends. I've enjoying watching her over the past 4 years and love continuing to learn from her. Check out her site if you get the chance.
5. ARC Run Club. While this is more than one person, it has definitely helped me with running. This was my 2nd race group and I was so nervous about joining them. The run store staff got me out of my Nike's and into my current favorite running shoes (Asics Gel Nimbus... I wear the 18's). The Thursday night fun runs are what keep me coming back. This is one of my favorite places to be on a Thursday night. This club got me out of my comfort zone, made me a better, faster runner and got me my current Half Marathon PR of under 1:45 at the LA Rock and Roll Marathon in 2015. I don't go to group runs during this time of year because its too dark and I'm a horrible klutz and afraid of falling and breaking my life, but I'm excited to go back starting NEXT WEEK! If you're in the area come join the fun on Thursday Nights @ 6pm. They have regular raffles and sponsors that bring goodies (including shoes to test run). A Runner's Circle- Los Feliz
4. My first running coach, Kim. Kim was my coach from Race Pace and who encouraged me and got me ready to run the LA Marathon. Kim always had to put me in my place when I tried to get too big for my racing britches and was so wonderful with answering all my (what seemed to me) dumb questions. She has since moved to Arizona but we stay in contact through Facebook.
3. My first running buddy, Jenny. I met Jenny while I was training for my first marathon with Race Pace. We were put together because we were in the same training group. Jenny had run LA many times and was not a noobie to this whole experience. At first, I thought she hated me... but then learned that we both just hated being up and running so early on a Sunday morning. I cherished those miles together and miss having her as a running confidant. She has since moved to San Diego and I swear I will never see her again, but I love her for helping me get through the Best and Worst Day of my life!
2. My Mama. This woman (while not a runner) has always been my #1 cheerleader and supporter. She has gone to a handful of my races (including the LA Marathon) and has never once ever told me that I was anything short of amazing. Although my mama cant physically be at my races anymore I wear a Ruby guardian angel pin (mine and her birthstone) for good luck and extra support on my longer runs.
1. My Aunt Kri. This woman got me into running and racing. She signed me up for my first Half Marathon (the Tinkerbell Half Marathon at Disneyland- I think 2012), introduced me to my first running group and coach (Race Pace in Moorpark, California) and kept pushing me to run outside my comfort zone and take on new challenges. She is a former figure skater who is now a Bad Ass Ironman (Ironwoman?!?!) competitor who finds fun in doing mulit hour/multi sport brick workouts (no thank you). She has paid for numerous races for me, bought me many a pair of running shoes and is currently trying to talk me into doing a tough mudder with her. I politely declined but look forward to the day when we can run together again.
Wow.. This list was actually harder than I thought. Hope you enjoyed it.
Who are your inspirations?
Are you a motivation to anyone else?
We're halfway through the week, and I hope yours has been going well. Mine has been a little wonky, but I think I'm over the bulk of it (read that I'm finally accepting that my period is here and not dying from exhaustion, headaches and irritability) and I think it's going to be a great end to the week.
It's really tough to get motivated during that time of the month (and all the days leading up to it), but I know that my PMS symptoms would feel even worse if I didn't have a regular exercise routine and generally good eating habits. It's funny to think that at one point like 10 years ago I was actually so unhealthy that I had Amenorrhea (an abnormal absence of menstruation). It is really common in female athletes who train really hard and push themselves to the extreme in order to be under their ideal weight. I think it is most commonly seen in ballet dancers, gymnasts and I'm sure it runs rampant in the running community as well. You can read more about it and what is called "The Female Athlete Triad" here.
Anywhoo, my case of amenorrhea appeared within the first two years of me "getting healthy" through extreme behaviors and I had lost way too much weight and was not eating enough to sustain the exercise I was doing, or was vomiting it up routinely. It only lasted a couple months, but it was pretty intense. I didn't know much about it then, but it definitely scares the living daylights out of me now. Just another reason to take care of my body to the best of my ability.
I guess with all that being said, I should be grateful that I have a period, because it reminds me that I'm healthy and "normal"!
Even with my low energy, some nasty GI issues (I'll spare you details) and intense moods the last couple of days I have managed to get in some pretty Kick-Ass workouts.
On Monday I did this fun little workout from my favorite website Popsugar.
I knew I wanted something a little less intense than the workouts I have been doing, and this was PERFECT for that. I felt like these moves hit a lot of those little spots that we commonly ignore when doing core work or with exercise in general.
Yesterday I had 5 miles on the schedule. I tend to run a faster pace on my Tuesday runs and had planned on doing some sprints today, but for a moment there this morning I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make out of my house! I had to go back inside and use the restroom TWICE before I was finally able to get my run underway. I'm not sure if it's something I ate, or if I'm just having a tough time in the restroom today... but I think it's finally all done with (and I'm hoping so)
Even with that... it ended up being a pretty amazing run. I completed 5.2 miles in 43 minutes (8:16pace). I was SUPER shocked when I saw this on my Garmin at the end of the run. I was not expecting it at all.
I've been trying this new thing on my runs where I cover my Garmin during my runs so that I can start to just "run by feel". I don't do this on "speed work" days and have only been half applying it on my long runs and the jury is still out. I was trying to use it to help slow me down a little bit, but honestly, I feel like it's making me faster!
One of the other new things I've been doing is listening to Podcasts during my commute to and from work. I just couldn't handle listening to the radio anymore and needed to change it up, and I'm sooooo glad that I did! I've found 3 running podcasts that I listen to religiously and one intuitive eating podcast that I just started (Reviews to Come).
One of the Podcasts is from a blogger that I've been following for a couple years, Ali on the Run. Ali has Chron's disease, but is a total kick ass runner and dog lover who lives in New York and she's just wonderful. She recently started her podcast The Ali on the Run Show and it is giving me LIFE! She only has a few episodes but each one has been more amazing and inspirational than the last. Her podcast is interview style and its just very laid back, fun and informative. Give it a listen if you get a chance.
Today she posted an episode about her 10 most influential people in her running life. Her list was amazing and it got me thinking about Who would be on my list?
So now I'm going to give you that list!
10. Meb Keflezighi. While I'm not really into to Main stream runners ( I only know a handful) this man is a common name in my household. I love watching him run and feel that he is amazing. I would love to get to run with him someday and just talk to him about what he eats, his favorite pajamas and how he likes to spend his down time. Cheers to you Meb for being an American Runner of Color!
9. Katherine Switzer. The First woman to run the Boston Marathon. because... how could you not? Her story is harrowing, brave and inspirational. To overcome the odds and prove the elite running community wrong... and its the 50th anniversary year of her completing that race. What an amazing triumph to women everywhere!
8. My Boyfriend. Adam is the absolute greatest thing since sliced bread. He believes in me 100% and is so accommodating and encouraging when it comes to my running. I cannot wait for us to do our first race together this month at the Paso Robles Half Marathon and see how he catches the racing bug for himself.
7. Alison Desir. This is a new running Idol for me who I got to know much better from the Ali on the Run show Podcast. Alison started the Harlem Run movement to get people of color moving in the streets of Harlem, but is probably more famously known for her Run for All Women to help raise money to fund Planned Parenthood following the 2016 election. Alison is a runner and an activist which makes her an amazing human being. Her appearance on the Ali on the Run Show got me all teary eyed and motivated and once you start scoping her out I bet she'll do the same to you.
6. Monica from Run, Eat, Repeat. This is gonna sound silly, but Monica was the first blogger I found and fell in love with (not romantically, but in the "I wanna be just like her when I grow up" kinda way). I love her blog because its all things food, running and randomness... just like ME! I imagine that if we lived closer, Monica and I would be friends. I've enjoying watching her over the past 4 years and love continuing to learn from her. Check out her site if you get the chance.
5. ARC Run Club. While this is more than one person, it has definitely helped me with running. This was my 2nd race group and I was so nervous about joining them. The run store staff got me out of my Nike's and into my current favorite running shoes (Asics Gel Nimbus... I wear the 18's). The Thursday night fun runs are what keep me coming back. This is one of my favorite places to be on a Thursday night. This club got me out of my comfort zone, made me a better, faster runner and got me my current Half Marathon PR of under 1:45 at the LA Rock and Roll Marathon in 2015. I don't go to group runs during this time of year because its too dark and I'm a horrible klutz and afraid of falling and breaking my life, but I'm excited to go back starting NEXT WEEK! If you're in the area come join the fun on Thursday Nights @ 6pm. They have regular raffles and sponsors that bring goodies (including shoes to test run). A Runner's Circle- Los Feliz
4. My first running coach, Kim. Kim was my coach from Race Pace and who encouraged me and got me ready to run the LA Marathon. Kim always had to put me in my place when I tried to get too big for my racing britches and was so wonderful with answering all my (what seemed to me) dumb questions. She has since moved to Arizona but we stay in contact through Facebook.
3. My first running buddy, Jenny. I met Jenny while I was training for my first marathon with Race Pace. We were put together because we were in the same training group. Jenny had run LA many times and was not a noobie to this whole experience. At first, I thought she hated me... but then learned that we both just hated being up and running so early on a Sunday morning. I cherished those miles together and miss having her as a running confidant. She has since moved to San Diego and I swear I will never see her again, but I love her for helping me get through the Best and Worst Day of my life!
2. My Mama. This woman (while not a runner) has always been my #1 cheerleader and supporter. She has gone to a handful of my races (including the LA Marathon) and has never once ever told me that I was anything short of amazing. Although my mama cant physically be at my races anymore I wear a Ruby guardian angel pin (mine and her birthstone) for good luck and extra support on my longer runs.
1. My Aunt Kri. This woman got me into running and racing. She signed me up for my first Half Marathon (the Tinkerbell Half Marathon at Disneyland- I think 2012), introduced me to my first running group and coach (Race Pace in Moorpark, California) and kept pushing me to run outside my comfort zone and take on new challenges. She is a former figure skater who is now a Bad Ass Ironman (Ironwoman?!?!) competitor who finds fun in doing mulit hour/multi sport brick workouts (no thank you). She has paid for numerous races for me, bought me many a pair of running shoes and is currently trying to talk me into doing a tough mudder with her. I politely declined but look forward to the day when we can run together again.
Wow.. This list was actually harder than I thought. Hope you enjoyed it.
Who are your inspirations?
Are you a motivation to anyone else?
Monday, March 6, 2017
A week in Review
Hello, Happy Sunday!!! (It's technically Monday now because I forgot to post this last night).
It's been really busy around here and I am just now finally getting a chance to check in... and its probably going to be a very short post because I'M EXHAUSTED.
This week has been really emotional for some reason (probably girly hormones and that time of the month coming) and by the time I've gotten to Sunday all I want to do is go to sleep. Also contributing to my lethargic nature and emotional roller coaster is the fact that my diet has been less than ideal this week.
I haven't been talking about food too much on here, and I was hoping to keep it that way, but when an opportunity for growth presents itself, I feel like I should take advantage of it.
Thursday nights after work I go to my 2nd job as a supervisor at the Suicide Prevention Center. For whatever reason this job and this night has always been associated with "over indulging" and eating too much. I've been trying to take steps to avoid this (not buying sweets, having options other than sweets available, etc.), but it's been really difficult to manage. So I eventually just decided to make this my "cheat day" and to not allow myself to feel guilty if I do overindulge a little bit this one night of the week.
One of the most effective things I started doing was that I stopped buying and providing sweets for the shift; utilizing the whole "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" trick when it comes to foods. It seems to be helping out a lot, but I'm not always the only person who brings stuff to shift and sometimes I end up indulging in snacks that I wouldn't normally consider sweet or "off limits".
However, I broke my rule this week and bought a cake to celebrate two new volunteers that were joining the shift. I was very quickly reminded that this is just NOT something that I can do.
Sugar is just one of those things that I have absolutely limited self control with and it always leads to me over eating and feel miserable. (Note to future self... just don't fucking do it). Long story short... I ate two pieces of cake and wanted to die. Not only did I feel like crap almost instantly (intense sugar high and then the crash), but I felt off even the next day.
I tend to think that just because I'm a predominantly healthy eater that it means that I can eat whatever I want whenever i want. I need to treat my body like the temple it is... because it is exactly that. If I want to feel great I need to eat great. Its not just about "losing weight" or "being thin" It's about not physically feeling awful (as opposed to emotionally feeling awful).
Anywhoo, I did a long run this morning and am starving... so I'm going to go eat dinner and relax for the rest of the evening. Here are my workouts for the week:
Monday: CT Pinterest workout
Tuesday 5.15 mile run @8:21 pace
Wednesday: 3.75 mile run @ 8;40 pace
Thursday: 6.2 mile run @ 7:51 pace
Friday: Rest Day
Saturday: 5 mile run @ 5.45 mile run @ 8:48 pace
Sunday: 9 mile run @ 8:41 pace
Have a beautiful week!
It's been really busy around here and I am just now finally getting a chance to check in... and its probably going to be a very short post because I'M EXHAUSTED.
This week has been really emotional for some reason (probably girly hormones and that time of the month coming) and by the time I've gotten to Sunday all I want to do is go to sleep. Also contributing to my lethargic nature and emotional roller coaster is the fact that my diet has been less than ideal this week.
I haven't been talking about food too much on here, and I was hoping to keep it that way, but when an opportunity for growth presents itself, I feel like I should take advantage of it.
Thursday nights after work I go to my 2nd job as a supervisor at the Suicide Prevention Center. For whatever reason this job and this night has always been associated with "over indulging" and eating too much. I've been trying to take steps to avoid this (not buying sweets, having options other than sweets available, etc.), but it's been really difficult to manage. So I eventually just decided to make this my "cheat day" and to not allow myself to feel guilty if I do overindulge a little bit this one night of the week.
One of the most effective things I started doing was that I stopped buying and providing sweets for the shift; utilizing the whole "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" trick when it comes to foods. It seems to be helping out a lot, but I'm not always the only person who brings stuff to shift and sometimes I end up indulging in snacks that I wouldn't normally consider sweet or "off limits".
However, I broke my rule this week and bought a cake to celebrate two new volunteers that were joining the shift. I was very quickly reminded that this is just NOT something that I can do.
Sugar is just one of those things that I have absolutely limited self control with and it always leads to me over eating and feel miserable. (Note to future self... just don't fucking do it). Long story short... I ate two pieces of cake and wanted to die. Not only did I feel like crap almost instantly (intense sugar high and then the crash), but I felt off even the next day.
I tend to think that just because I'm a predominantly healthy eater that it means that I can eat whatever I want whenever i want. I need to treat my body like the temple it is... because it is exactly that. If I want to feel great I need to eat great. Its not just about "losing weight" or "being thin" It's about not physically feeling awful (as opposed to emotionally feeling awful).
Anywhoo, I did a long run this morning and am starving... so I'm going to go eat dinner and relax for the rest of the evening. Here are my workouts for the week:
Monday: CT Pinterest workout
Tuesday 5.15 mile run @8:21 pace
Wednesday: 3.75 mile run @ 8;40 pace
Thursday: 6.2 mile run @ 7:51 pace
Friday: Rest Day
Saturday: 5 mile run @ 5.45 mile run @ 8:48 pace
Sunday: 9 mile run @ 8:41 pace
Have a beautiful week!
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
February Recap
Happy March 1st!
I don't know about you guys, but I always love the feeling of the first of the month. There's something motivating about it that always makes me feel good.
When I was in my addiction to food, the 1st of the month always felt like torture (especially if it fell on a Monday). I had a habit of telling myself that I would "Start Fresh" on the First... and it usually set up a lot of pressure that I just couldn't keep up with or amount to and I end up craving sugar, with a face full of food and eventually eliminating what I ate which only lead to hateful speech with myself, self loathing and punishing myself for another 30 days until the next "First of the Month" came along.
Thankfully, today, I am looking forward to another month to set some goals. But first I want to look back on what I accomplished in February.
1. I stayed consistent and didn't miss a single workout this month
2. I ran a 10 miler, and didn't die!
3. I ran over 106 miles this month
4. I ran a 30+ mileage week
5. I started blogging again
Goals for the month of March!
1. Continue to stay consistent with my workouts and my training. (IE- not skipping out on workouts)
2. Volunteer/ Spectate for the LA Marathon
3. Finish my Half Marathon on March 26th. I dont really NEED a PR, but it would be nice
4. Be able to register for my next half marathon
5. Get my CEU's done and submit my hours for licensure. (this is a non running goal, but super important to me right now.
6. Run 115 miles this month
7. Actually practice recovery after my race
Today was another really tough day for me emotionally. I woke up in the middle of the night from a really bad dream about my mom and just could not get back to sleep. Grief is an absolutely horrible things sometimes and today was one of those days. I knew that I was not going to be benefiting myself if I went out and tried to run 6 miles at race pace. I initially wanted to completely give up on myself and just not get up and workout. Enter Goal #1 for March.
In the past, I would have totally stayed in bed, not worked out, been really mad at myself and used it as motivation to be really horrible to myself (emotionally and with food) later on in the day. Instead, I reminded myself that I AM ADAPTABLE. Just because I had a number on the schedule doesn't mean I had to complete it. I allowed myself to sleep in a little bit and decided to do a short easy run today instead and will complete today's workout tomorrow.
I ended up running 3.75 miles at an 8:40 pace and felt much better through the rest of the day.
I had planned on writing more tonight, but after hearing I had a tough day, Adam surprised me and is staying home tonight to give me some emotional support. I'm going to go spend some quality time with him and will check back in with you guys soon.
Be Well
I don't know about you guys, but I always love the feeling of the first of the month. There's something motivating about it that always makes me feel good.
When I was in my addiction to food, the 1st of the month always felt like torture (especially if it fell on a Monday). I had a habit of telling myself that I would "Start Fresh" on the First... and it usually set up a lot of pressure that I just couldn't keep up with or amount to and I end up craving sugar, with a face full of food and eventually eliminating what I ate which only lead to hateful speech with myself, self loathing and punishing myself for another 30 days until the next "First of the Month" came along.
Thankfully, today, I am looking forward to another month to set some goals. But first I want to look back on what I accomplished in February.
1. I stayed consistent and didn't miss a single workout this month
2. I ran a 10 miler, and didn't die!
3. I ran over 106 miles this month
4. I ran a 30+ mileage week
5. I started blogging again
Goals for the month of March!
1. Continue to stay consistent with my workouts and my training. (IE- not skipping out on workouts)
2. Volunteer/ Spectate for the LA Marathon
3. Finish my Half Marathon on March 26th. I dont really NEED a PR, but it would be nice
4. Be able to register for my next half marathon
5. Get my CEU's done and submit my hours for licensure. (this is a non running goal, but super important to me right now.
6. Run 115 miles this month
7. Actually practice recovery after my race
Today was another really tough day for me emotionally. I woke up in the middle of the night from a really bad dream about my mom and just could not get back to sleep. Grief is an absolutely horrible things sometimes and today was one of those days. I knew that I was not going to be benefiting myself if I went out and tried to run 6 miles at race pace. I initially wanted to completely give up on myself and just not get up and workout. Enter Goal #1 for March.
In the past, I would have totally stayed in bed, not worked out, been really mad at myself and used it as motivation to be really horrible to myself (emotionally and with food) later on in the day. Instead, I reminded myself that I AM ADAPTABLE. Just because I had a number on the schedule doesn't mean I had to complete it. I allowed myself to sleep in a little bit and decided to do a short easy run today instead and will complete today's workout tomorrow.
I ended up running 3.75 miles at an 8:40 pace and felt much better through the rest of the day.
I had planned on writing more tonight, but after hearing I had a tough day, Adam surprised me and is staying home tonight to give me some emotional support. I'm going to go spend some quality time with him and will check back in with you guys soon.
Be Well
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Going with the Flow
How is your week going? Can you believe it's already the last day of February?
Mine? Emotionally so far, it has been a WRECK.
Since Sunday I've been feeling really off in my mood. Work has been really stressful lately with things not going the way I want or would like them too, and it seems like every time I think I have things figured out SOMETHING comes along and messes it all up! I consider myself to be a fairly adaptable person, but for this week... it's just plain annoying. Sometimes I wonder if the more adaptable you ARE the more adaptable people expect you to BE. Thoughts?!?!
Ok, let's shift moods and talk about some healthy movements, shall we?
Mondays have come to be my Cross Training day in my workouts, and today was no exception. I've been really enjoying these random body weight circuit training workouts from Popsugar Fitness. They have TONS to choose from (including ones that use actual weights).
All of the workouts I've completed have 3 circuits with 3 exercises in each. You are suppose to do each circuit 3 times before moving on to the next one. I toyed around with the idea of running through all 3 circuits once and then repeating it two more times, but I like returning to the moves quicker in order to improve my form by repeating the one circuit 3 times before moving on to the next one. (Did that make sense?)
I have done a different one every week for the past 6 weeks or so. Each one is deceptively challenging, and this one did not disappoint.
Im not sure why, but that first circuit was insanely difficult! It was probably those runners lunges and the fact that all 3 workout required using your arms for stabilization. My shoulders, biceps and triceps were really sore by the end of the third round. I've gotten some really great definition in my arms lately, but I still really lack the strength to do that darn elbow plank reach.
This was completely reaffirmed with my post run workout today!
On the schedule I had a 5 mile run. It was really cold out this morning (39 degrees) when I headed out the door, and I was desperate to move fast and warm up. Im finding that I always love the way I feel on my Tuesday runs (aka the days after cross trainings). My legs always feel refreshed/ready to run and I tend to finish really strong.
I'm sorry... is that a 7:45 pace for my 5th mile?!?!?!?!?! Why yes, I believe it is! My 2nd mile was partially uphill (that little 8:53 mile in there), but that is still an amazing time with or without the hill. Everything just felt right about this run. The only thing that always trips me up is my breathing in the first mile on really cold mornings. I've considered getting a balaclava to help, but I just feel like its not cold enough for long enough in the year to need one. My lungs will probably hate me for it later.
When I got back home I did a quick in home circuit training Standing Core Workout with the 5 lb medicine ball I have at home.
I didn't follow the pins directions exactly, but instead set my interval timer for 45 seconds on and 15 seconds of rest and did 10 rounds (10 minute workout total). After doing the above pictured workouts I added a regular plank, alternating side planks and a reverse plank.
Lessons from this workout:
1. I do not like sumo squat crunches (In hind sight this may have been due to me standing wide enough for the move)
2. I have no idea how to do the torso twist front chop in lunge (ie.. research your workouts and practice before attempting a move)
3. I can not hold a side plank (on either side) for 45 seconds
Note to self: Gotta get to work on that upper body strength goal and continue to work on my planks.
Overall It felt really good and I enjoyed having a good time in my workout today.
In Self Confidence News:
I am definitely starting to feel some definition in my legs, thighs and butt that hasn't ever been there before. It may just be me, but I feel like my glutes are A LOT firmer than usual. My dresses have been feeling shorter and I can feel the definition in my hamstrings in a way that I've never noticed. I feel like the difference is the addition of regular strength training to my workout routines. This is the first time I've ever been consistent with it for more than a month. I usually get bored or just hate it after a couple weeks and do see the true results. I'm really proud of myself for sticking with my goals on this one.
What are some things that you're working on in your routine (workout or non workout related?)
What is one thing that you can compliment yourself on today?
Sunday, February 26, 2017
The Long Run
Hi!
Happy Sunday!
I hope you're getting to enjoy the tail end of this weekend. I've been feeling really off today emotionally. I've been a little snippy and just in a funk and I'm not sure why. Not sure if its sleep, over training, stress, waiting too long to eat (Hangry anyone?), the rude lady that yelled at Adam and I this morning while we were walking Plissken or just the fact that I hate that the weekend is almost over... but I'm finally getting to relax and trying to shake the funk.
But, lets not focus on the negative. Lets talk about all the awesome things that came out of this weekend and some of the lessons I learned along the way.
Saturday:
I ran my first 10 mile run in over a year on Saturday, and I did a pretty awesome job at it.
1. I finally got to practice a run while including fuel. I took a Vanilla Bean Gu at around mile 6. I've bee using this Gu for years. The flavor is light, it doesn't upset my stomach, it has a nice hit of caffeine and helps to push through those longer runs. I take about an entire mile to eat a Gu. When I eat them faster I always end up feeling overly full and end up having GI issues. It definitely helped me push through the last few miles which brings me to... 2. I just got to run long and pushed past my fear of the 10 miler. I have been fearing this run since I came back to running in April. One of the things that added to my injury in December 2015 was some major GI issues that I kept having when trying to run 8+ miles. I've still been struggling with my fear of not being able to do these miles, but this run showed me that I can do it. I'm excited to see how the rest of my training goes from here.
Happy Sunday!
I hope you're getting to enjoy the tail end of this weekend. I've been feeling really off today emotionally. I've been a little snippy and just in a funk and I'm not sure why. Not sure if its sleep, over training, stress, waiting too long to eat (Hangry anyone?), the rude lady that yelled at Adam and I this morning while we were walking Plissken or just the fact that I hate that the weekend is almost over... but I'm finally getting to relax and trying to shake the funk.
But, lets not focus on the negative. Lets talk about all the awesome things that came out of this weekend and some of the lessons I learned along the way.
Saturday:
I ran my first 10 mile run in over a year on Saturday, and I did a pretty awesome job at it.
The run felt pretty great. I really tried to keep myself moving slow until the final miles which was when I let myself push a little harder. I'm still not quite near the right pace for a 1:45:00 half marathon (which is in like 4 weeks), but I'm certainly under 2 hours which is more than I can ask for.
This run was great for two things:
1. I finally got to practice a run while including fuel. I took a Vanilla Bean Gu at around mile 6. I've bee using this Gu for years. The flavor is light, it doesn't upset my stomach, it has a nice hit of caffeine and helps to push through those longer runs. I take about an entire mile to eat a Gu. When I eat them faster I always end up feeling overly full and end up having GI issues. It definitely helped me push through the last few miles which brings me to... 2. I just got to run long and pushed past my fear of the 10 miler. I have been fearing this run since I came back to running in April. One of the things that added to my injury in December 2015 was some major GI issues that I kept having when trying to run 8+ miles. I've still been struggling with my fear of not being able to do these miles, but this run showed me that I can do it. I'm excited to see how the rest of my training goes from here.
As with all runs/ workouts, not everything is good. There were definitely some tough moments that I am going to learn and grow from.
1. I made one of the biggest running mistakes on this run and wore all new clothes that I had just got from Old Navy. I am IN LOVE with their Activewear line. I think 90% of my outfits are from there. I had ordered this shirt and these shorts. I really liked the shirt and the color is very nice. I was most excited about the shorts. I was hoping they were long enough to cover most of my thighs, AND they came with a media pocket on both sides. Sadly the shorts rode up on me the ENTIRE 10 miles, but my phone stayed in place! Basically, they'll be fine for short runs (no pun intended) but not for long runs.
2. I need to get out of my own head sometimes. I feel like I started feeling sluggish at mile 5 because I knew I was going to be taking in a Gu at mile 6. It was like I was dragging myself down even though I was feeling good and strong. This came back to bit me in the ass in my final mile. I felt myself starting to take short cuts just to have the run be over. I could easily start to beat myself up over it, but instead I'm going to be grateful for this experience that is teaching me that my physical game is strong/solid, but I really need to work on my mental game at this stage. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to start enhancing my mental muscles, but i imagine its going to include a lot more podcasts, positive affirmations and possibly adding some meditation to my daily routines. The idea has been showing up in various ways in my life lately, but I'm not ready to commit to it yet.
Sunday:
I already mentioned I've been feeling off today, and it even bled into my 5 mile run. For whatever reason, doing easy runs just feel awful to me. I always feel slow, my form feels really off and I just overall hate doing them. This once was no exception. It was slightly raining, but humid and I just couldn't find my groove through the whole 5 miles. I know that easy runs are important to training for recovery, but I just hate them.
The rest of our Sunday was filled with running errands and meal prepping and now we're watching the Oscars! Adam is a big film buff so we have to watch!
Here were my workouts for this week:
Monday: This Popsugar Work Out I found on Pinterest
Tuesday: 4.75 mile run @ 8:57pace (Easy)
Wednesday: 6.2 mile run @ 8;24 pace (Tempo Run)
Thursday: 4.75 mile run @ 8:07 pace (Sprints)
Friday: REST DAY
Saturday: 10.2 mile run @ 8:38 pace (Long Run)
Sunday: 5 mile run @ 8:57 pace (Easy Run)
Looking forward to another great week of workouts. Just finished up some meal prep and resting with this little snuggle bug pictured below! Have a Happy and healthy week!
How was your week?
Does anyone else feel this way about easy runs?!?!
Are you watching the Oscars?
Do you meal prep?
Thursday, February 23, 2017
The Return... again!
Well, Hello There!
How the HECK are you?!
Me? I'm feeling FABULOUS!
It's been over 2 years since I last wrote here..that's a really scary thought. But I've recently been feeling really motivated to share my life so I figured, "Why the heck not?"
A quick recap, because My life and my goals have changed DRAMATICALLY since I last posted.
1. I broke up with Tyler.
I finally saw through all the horrible and emotionally abusive bull shit that I was dragging myself through in that relationship and decided to call it quits in September of 2015. It was not a very easy decision by any means necessary, but it was the best decision for me. There were a lot of other things that went on at that time, but I'm not going to go into it here.
I will say though, that I am REALLY glad that I made that decision for myself.
2. I am forehead deep in a very loving relationship.
When I ended things with Tyler there was no longer any internal confusion about what I wanted in a relationship and what I felt I deserved to have in my life. I was very fortunate that all of it came to me almost immediately in my current partner, Adam. Adam and I have known each other for approximately 8 years through my work at Chili's. We reconnected at the end of mine and Tyler's relationship and it has been the best thing to ever happen to me.
I did a lot of shaming myself for how quickly I got into this relationship, but through the process I realized that I was over my previous relationship almost 3 years prior to the break up. I'm also the happiest (and healthiest) I've been in the past decade. We live together in Los Angeles, we have an adorable dog ( a Shih tzu named Plissken) and we're both into running and being healthy (most of the time) and most importantly EACH OTHER!
3. My Mom passed away in October 2016.
This has been the toughest of my changes. My mom and I were best friends since I was a little girl. There isn't a minute that goes by that my heart doesn't ache for her. But, my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 Ovarian Cancer while I was in Grad School (October 2012) and she fought a really hard and debilitating battle for those 4 years and 14 days. While I'm definitely grieving (and learning how to grieve) I am also at peace knowing she is no longer in pain or having to go through chemo's or surgeries and being just plain miserable.
4. I suffered from my first real running injury (and lived to tell about it)!
In October/November of 2015 I started training for what I thought would be my triumphant return to the LA Marathon. I was getting into the best shape of my life (because I was compensating while going through my break up) and went a little too hard with the squats/lunges one day and pulled a muscle in my right groin. Just typing about it makes my thigh hurt.
I WAS DEVASTATED to say the least. I took my last run on December 24th, 2015 and didn't lace up again until April 1st. It was the worst 3 months of my life. I was an emotional wreck, I felt like a beached whale and nothing I was doing was helping (and I did a lot). I turned to walking, swimming and yoga and it kept most of my demons at bay... but it just wasn't running.
Since then my whole last year has been a really slow progression to getting back to where I was at. I was really afraid of getting reinjured again so I took my time and focused a lot on healing myself in the moment and learning how to prevent future issues.
5. I decided to start training and racing smarter.
My last half marathon was in October of 2015. I PR'd in under an hour and 45 minutes (say what!) and it was the greatest feeling ever. As you can tell, I was injured shortly there after and havent decided to race.... UNTIL NOW!
I am currently registered for The Wine County Runs Half Marathon in Paso Robles California. I am hoping to run in under 1:45 again, but we'll see how this goes. Adam will be doing his first race (the 5k) so I'm extra excited about this event.
If I perform well at this event I will be returning to the Shoreline Half Marathon in Ventura, California in July the weekend of my 31st Birthday. I promised myself that if i stayed healthy and smart for both of these races that I could then train for the Long Beach Marathon in Long Beach, California on October 8th. The Ultimate goal is to have those 3 races go well so that I can run LA Marathon in the spring of 2018
These seem like slightly lofty goals, but I feel extremely ready for them. My biggest issue right now is trying to just take it one day at a time and not think of it as a "Year Long Ordeal". I wont be registering for any races until I have completed the one previous to it so as not to put any undue pressure on myself.
As I've been getting back to my core "base" training I've been feeling the need to get out and speak about it. I'm not sure if the blog will go to a daily or weekly thing, but I'm thinking it will be a "When I feel like it" sorta gig. I may also be adding a daily Vlog (A Video Blog) component to this, so keep an eye out! I'm still messing around with the idea of recording myself and how it would actually work... but I'm liking the idea more and more each day.
I'm sure there's like 1 million other things that have happened in the past 2 years, but these seem to be the most important and the most life changing. Please stay tuned for my training highs and lows, my tips and treats and all the fun randomness that is me.
Christina
How the HECK are you?!
Me? I'm feeling FABULOUS!
It's been over 2 years since I last wrote here..that's a really scary thought. But I've recently been feeling really motivated to share my life so I figured, "Why the heck not?"
A quick recap, because My life and my goals have changed DRAMATICALLY since I last posted.
1. I broke up with Tyler.
I finally saw through all the horrible and emotionally abusive bull shit that I was dragging myself through in that relationship and decided to call it quits in September of 2015. It was not a very easy decision by any means necessary, but it was the best decision for me. There were a lot of other things that went on at that time, but I'm not going to go into it here.
I will say though, that I am REALLY glad that I made that decision for myself.
2. I am forehead deep in a very loving relationship.
When I ended things with Tyler there was no longer any internal confusion about what I wanted in a relationship and what I felt I deserved to have in my life. I was very fortunate that all of it came to me almost immediately in my current partner, Adam. Adam and I have known each other for approximately 8 years through my work at Chili's. We reconnected at the end of mine and Tyler's relationship and it has been the best thing to ever happen to me.
I did a lot of shaming myself for how quickly I got into this relationship, but through the process I realized that I was over my previous relationship almost 3 years prior to the break up. I'm also the happiest (and healthiest) I've been in the past decade. We live together in Los Angeles, we have an adorable dog ( a Shih tzu named Plissken) and we're both into running and being healthy (most of the time) and most importantly EACH OTHER!
3. My Mom passed away in October 2016.
This has been the toughest of my changes. My mom and I were best friends since I was a little girl. There isn't a minute that goes by that my heart doesn't ache for her. But, my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 Ovarian Cancer while I was in Grad School (October 2012) and she fought a really hard and debilitating battle for those 4 years and 14 days. While I'm definitely grieving (and learning how to grieve) I am also at peace knowing she is no longer in pain or having to go through chemo's or surgeries and being just plain miserable.
4. I suffered from my first real running injury (and lived to tell about it)!
In October/November of 2015 I started training for what I thought would be my triumphant return to the LA Marathon. I was getting into the best shape of my life (because I was compensating while going through my break up) and went a little too hard with the squats/lunges one day and pulled a muscle in my right groin. Just typing about it makes my thigh hurt.
I WAS DEVASTATED to say the least. I took my last run on December 24th, 2015 and didn't lace up again until April 1st. It was the worst 3 months of my life. I was an emotional wreck, I felt like a beached whale and nothing I was doing was helping (and I did a lot). I turned to walking, swimming and yoga and it kept most of my demons at bay... but it just wasn't running.
Since then my whole last year has been a really slow progression to getting back to where I was at. I was really afraid of getting reinjured again so I took my time and focused a lot on healing myself in the moment and learning how to prevent future issues.
5. I decided to start training and racing smarter.
My last half marathon was in October of 2015. I PR'd in under an hour and 45 minutes (say what!) and it was the greatest feeling ever. As you can tell, I was injured shortly there after and havent decided to race.... UNTIL NOW!
I am currently registered for The Wine County Runs Half Marathon in Paso Robles California. I am hoping to run in under 1:45 again, but we'll see how this goes. Adam will be doing his first race (the 5k) so I'm extra excited about this event.
If I perform well at this event I will be returning to the Shoreline Half Marathon in Ventura, California in July the weekend of my 31st Birthday. I promised myself that if i stayed healthy and smart for both of these races that I could then train for the Long Beach Marathon in Long Beach, California on October 8th. The Ultimate goal is to have those 3 races go well so that I can run LA Marathon in the spring of 2018
These seem like slightly lofty goals, but I feel extremely ready for them. My biggest issue right now is trying to just take it one day at a time and not think of it as a "Year Long Ordeal". I wont be registering for any races until I have completed the one previous to it so as not to put any undue pressure on myself.
As I've been getting back to my core "base" training I've been feeling the need to get out and speak about it. I'm not sure if the blog will go to a daily or weekly thing, but I'm thinking it will be a "When I feel like it" sorta gig. I may also be adding a daily Vlog (A Video Blog) component to this, so keep an eye out! I'm still messing around with the idea of recording myself and how it would actually work... but I'm liking the idea more and more each day.
I'm sure there's like 1 million other things that have happened in the past 2 years, but these seem to be the most important and the most life changing. Please stay tuned for my training highs and lows, my tips and treats and all the fun randomness that is me.
Christina
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Happy New Years!
January 2, 2015
So, I realize that New Years was
a day ago, but I’m just finally getting around to writing. It’s pretty crazy,
because I feel like 2014 went by SOOOO fast, that I never really had time to
catch up to it. At first, I didn’t think that much had happened in 2014, but
then when I really got to thinking, I realized I went through SO much.
In January, I went to Vegas and danced my ass off in a tiny little dress. If
you know me, you know that this is a big freaking deal. I’m always very self
conscious… and it is not easy for me to just let go. That trip was not very
memorable for anything other than that. I also ran the Tinkerbell Half Marathon
this month (one of my favorite races) and even got up early to run 4 miles
before the race to complete 17 miles for my LA Marathon Training. I’m pretty
bad ass like that!
In February, I became a supervisor. That’s pretty weird… because I have never
seen myself as being someone who would supervise people. And here I am about to
complete a year of doing so. Its only part time, but I really enjoy it, and
feel like it keeps me growing
In March, I ran a fucking marathon. I ran The LA Marathon, to be exact. Initially
I wasn’t too happy about it, but it will forever be the best and worst day of
my life and I will never forget it. Yeah I didn’t finish in the time I wanted
to, but I did PR… and that’s still pretty freaking awesome. And I have an
awesome story about puking in a push at mile 23 that will knock your socks off.
I still haven’t decided if I will ever run a Marathon again, but for now… I
feel pretty great.
In April, I almost ended my relationship. It was a really tough year for
Tyler and I. We were suppose to take a break, but that didn’t really happen
(and I’m glad I didn’t). This might not seem like a very “positive”
accomplishment, but it was in a lot of ways. I never really take a stand for
myself in relationships, and this was the first time I had ever really done
that. It was terrifying, upsetting, and all around empowering and I’m ever
grateful for it. I’m also pretty sure that this was the month I celebrated not purging for 1 entire
year!!! I remember a time when this seemed absolutely impossible to
complete. Now, it seems like a distant memory that I don’t think I ever
actually sat down and celebrated :/. I also had the most amazing trip to
Washington, DC. I had never been, and I went with my best friend, and I ran,
and ate and drank and had the best time of my life! (It seems like April was a
REALLY good month for me.
In May, I bought the most WONDERFUL pet in the world, Gil the Fish! Sadly, Gil is no longer with us (Tyler over fed him he got bloated and died)... but for the 6 months we had him... he was AMAZING!
In June, I graduated from Graduate School. I’m an MSW, and I have the
student loans to prove it :D. This was probably one of the hardest things I
have EVER done in my entire life… and I did it. Thanks to the love and support
of my family, my friends, and of course my loving therapist who kept my head on
straight ;D
In July, “I got my first Big Girl Job”. Fresh out of college, I was one of
the first to get hired as an MSW. Its been a really rocky road, and I’m not
sure that I’ll stay at this job forever, but it has been an absolutely amazing
learning experience and I have met some of the most Amazing people doing so. I
have insurance, I have a 403B and I make a pretty sizeable income. I also
Turned 28… Which is pretty great. I had an amazing pool party with Tyler playing
with his Beatles Band. 2 more years to 30!!!
In August, Tyler and I moved in together. We have been together for soooo
long, and it took us forever to finally reach this point in our relationship.
It has been one of the best opportunities, and I could not be any happier than
I am right now. He is the yin to my yang, the cleaner of my messes, and the man
who loving tells me the food I cook is good…even if it’s not.
In September, I
apparently didn’t do ANYTHING!!! I really tried to look, and I don’t think it
was very eventful :/
In October, I ran the Nike Women’s half marathon in San Francisco. I hadn’t
been to San Francisco in about 10 years, and I almost didn’t run this race. My
training had been really off, my hip had been in significant pain, and I really
just didn’t think I had it in me to complete this race. But, I pulled myself
together and completed one of the most DIFFICULT races of my life. And, I got
some pretty amazing bling to show for it. Not to mention, San Francisco was
AMAZING! It a little expensive and a little hilly, but worth it. I also got to
have my first Halloween at home. I had TWO trick or treaters… and they were
marvelous!
In November, I PR’d a 5k hard core. I ran the Tofurkey Trot (yes, a turkey
trot for vegetarians).. and I came in with a disgustingly powerful sub 25
minute PR. It made me really happy, and the event was a lot of fun. And I baked my first pie!
Everyone told me it was good… but when I eventually tried it… I realized THEY
LIED!
In December, My entire life changed. I
had to do some of the most difficult things in this month. I found out I was pregnant and made the appropriate decision to not
continue the pregnancy. While I fully support my decision, I wish that I had
never had to be put in that position in the first place. It might not be
something that plagues me every minute of every day… but it is something I will
carry with me for the rest of my life. I was not ready to be a mother, and I
made a very dumb mistake to have unprotected sex. I am grateful for my right to
choose what to do with my body and that I have a loving partner who supported
me through it. Tyler and I also celebrated 7 years together and we had our
first Christmas together in our new apartment. I didn’t get engaged (and I’m
TOTALLY not upset about it or anything…. LIES)… but it was still a great
holiday season!
And now the year is OVER!!!
Looking back on the year I have a
couple of things I would like to “Resolve” and continue to work on.
1. GET ENGAGED. I realize that I don’t necessarily have a say in this
one, but it’s still on my list
2. Work Less. I work way too much. I have two jobs, dedicated to
Suicide Prevention and its exhausting. This year I should stop working so much
and give myself some time.
3. Keep on running!!! I would like to run more this year than I did in
the past year. There were a lot of transitions, pains and pauses in my running,
and it made me sad not to see as many races in my line up. I would like to do 1
race a month this year (of any distance) to keep myself in the running game.
4. Travel More!!! I had so much fun with my little vacations this
year, but I’m ready for bigger adventures. Ideally I would like to travel to
Europe with Tyler during the summer. I think with enough coaxing, I can get him
to do it with me J
5. Continue to respect my body. While I do not always have the best
eating or exercise habits, I have continued to remain purge free! This is
always a priority to me, and I want to continue to remain in the best health I
can in the New Year.
6. Read MORE! Ideally a book a month would be good. Gotta start
somewhere!!!
7. Do something AMAZING in
September 2015. Seems to make the most sense.
I know that resolutions are supposed
to be LIFE changing and altering, but I like the idea of low expectations. This
is solid enough, and accomplishable (wow, I cant believe that is a word).
Alright, my wine is kicking in
and my handsome prince has not arrived home yet to eat dinner with me, so I
guess I’m going to start without him.
HAPPY NEW YEARS!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Day 2
Wow... I made it to day two... This might not seem like much, but I haven't seen one of these in quite some time. For the most part it was a really great day.
I woke up and took a really good run and followed it up with some strength training. There really is no better feeling than working out first thing in the morning. Before i even set foot out the door I did some laundry, made quinoa and cleaned up a bit of my room.
School was sorta blah. I'm not feeling either of my classes right now. I'm also dealing with a very passive aggressive teacher who is starting to get under my skin. He's acting as if something is wrong, and treating me very strangely, and it makes me paranoid that I've done something wrong. I really don't like this feeling, but I'm trying not to let one person ruin my everything and just LET IT GO! (Easier said than done)
I finished out the day with an amazing dodgeball tournament with my cohort. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! I had the time of my life! We lost, but it was still great. I also get nervous about these sort of things, because I always worry about making an ass of myself. But I just went out there and tried to have a good time, and I think I was successful.
Now I'm home, in my fresh bed, with a migraine. So I'm just going to wrap up with my AEIOU's and save the rest for later.
A- Thankfully, Yes!
E- 3.53 mile run, strength training and an hour and a half of dodgeball!
I- Tried something new
O- tried not to make assumptions
U- http://hellogiggles.com/10-reasons-love-body-now?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=zooeyFB&utm_campaign=post
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
A Rough Start to a Glorious Beginning
So... I love how I came on here and professed my undying desire to get my shit together and get on the wagon and blog about everything and BLAH BLAH BLAH... and then
However, I still felt like complete SHIT. After a desperate please to my best friend Talia for an intervention and a much needed cup of coffee I was beginning to feel much better. Together her and I created an amazing ACTION PLAN to get me back on the right track.
I DIDN'T!!!
I have no excuses for the last couples days... other than the fact that I still wasn't taking myself seriously. After ending a seeming amazing day with a Luna Bar and an entire bag of oatmeal animal cookies I woke up saying, "What the hell am I doing?!?!"
I could barely pull myself out of bed, I had a migraine and even went to my internship late because I didn't want to face another disappointing day that resulted in my "Failure". Where I knew I had the real problem was when my supervisor offered to let me take the entire day, and I seriously contemplated never getting out of bed and just repeating the cycle for the 100th time...
Thankfully, I did not succumb to the shitty feelings, and I pulled my ass out of bed, ate a nutritious breakfast, showered, got dressed and showed up (even though 3 our of my 4 clients didn't!). I had a commitment to keep and damn it I was going to keep it.
However, I still felt like complete SHIT. After a desperate please to my best friend Talia for an intervention and a much needed cup of coffee I was beginning to feel much better. Together her and I created an amazing ACTION PLAN to get me back on the right track.
Step 1: I agreed to start committing my food to her each night before bed. This is something I used to do with my sponsor for awhile and I found it really helpful. It was sometimes just nice to give it over to someone else and not really have to stress over it. However, I haven't mustered up the confidence to go back to a meeting... so my BFF will have to do.
Step 2: Make a flash card of things to do INSTEAD of stuffing my face at night (AKA a "coping card")...Not sure why I never did this before, but better late than never!
Step 3: Continue to work on the goals that I set for myself for this week... even though I kinda ignored them. This included my work out commitment and the blogging idea (Thank you Zumba class and the current entry I'm writing).
Step 4: Call her and talk to her when and if I needed it :D (or just reach out to someone in general if need be)
Not so bad, huh! And surprisingly gave me some instant relief. It reminded me of when I first got into program and the wonderful feeling I felt having some sobriety from food under my belt... which in turn reminded me of a nightly thing I use to send my sponsor: My AEIOU's.
So I decided to add a Step 5 to the action: complete my AEIOU's :D (for those of you who dont know that my Abstinence, Exercise, Thing I did for myself, Things I did for Others, and what I UNCOVERED for the day.
So... now you get to have them:
Abstinent: My formal abstinence from program was "to keep what I eat"and I have successfully done that for more than a year. To me abstinence now means not Binging (no matter how small or large) or eating more than 3 meals and 2 optional snacks.
Exercise: I Zumba'd my ass off for 55 minutes and loved every second. I even got a compliment on my energy level!
What I did for myself: I slept end, I showed up, I kept my commitments, I reached out for help, I spoke my mind, I tried something new
What I did for Others: I took the time to listen to someone who is normally quiet, I gave someone who is not heard a voice. I showed up, I offered my support
What did I Uncover today: The other day I watched a fabulous movie called Coach Carter... and it took my breath away. Throughout the movie Coach Carter asks one of his students, "What is your biggest fear?" and the kid had no idea what he was talking about. Finally the kid responds with this quote:
I have fully decided to adopt this as my current mantra. Feel free to join me.
Well, that's enough for tonight. It is time for some sleeps.
Take Care
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Crawling out of the Abyss!!!
Hi,
This is Christina. I can not believe that it has been almost a year since I last wrote in this blog. I've thought about returning to it so many times... but always found something "better" to do with it.
A lot has happened since I last wrote on here. And sadly, most of it is not noteworthy.
I ran my first full Marathon, The LA Marathon.
I made it through the worst quarter of Grad School EVER
I reached one year of sobriety from purging
I spoke up for myself in my relationship
Those were probably the most important. Looking through this list though... I realized that I did not really celebrate ANY of these accomplishments. The Marathon was a really big goal for me, but I didn't achieve the time or finish that I wanted. To be honest, I was more disappointed in myself than proud (and still am). But, I'm hoping to come back strong next year and kick its ASS! Winter quarter was the worst.. and I barely scraped by. I got good grades and celebrated by sitting on my ass in bed for an entire spring break stuffing my face and feeling miserable. My recover-versary was nothing short of LAME. I still struggle with food, and emotional eating, so it feels like I haven't really made any progress in this year. I stopped going to AA, I really stopped TRYING and I guess I've just given up on myself.
I wont talk about my relationship because I don't feel like this is the place to do it... but know that things are very confusing, and I feel extremely lost in the thick of things.
Overall I FEEL LIKE SHIT... and I don't want to anymore. I don't like the way I look, I have no energy, I never want to get out of bed, So, for the first time today, I have decided that I am going to really try to do something different, instead of making a list of all the things I am "going" to do... and I will actually start doing them.
GOALS: I keep telling myself that I need to start setting weekly goals... and then I go right back in to doing nothing. When I was in therapy with Dr. Marson part of our group therapy was to make weekly goals. I really like this idea, because right now, I am struggling with just getting through each day. So, each Sunday, I am going to write out my goals for the week, put them on a flash card and place it on my mirror, or next to my mirror... ONE OF THE TWO.
My Goals for this week:
1. Stop feeling sorry for myself! (Write at least one gratitude list)
2. Complete all my scheduled exercises (4 runs, and 1 swim, and a Zumba class)
3. Go to at least one OA meeting
4. Clean up the 3 B's (My Bedroom, My Body, and my Brain)
5. Blog it out 3-5x's this week!
This seems like a really good place to start. It wont be easy, but I need to get back to the basics.
Thanks for letting me talk it out :D
This is Christina. I can not believe that it has been almost a year since I last wrote in this blog. I've thought about returning to it so many times... but always found something "better" to do with it.
A lot has happened since I last wrote on here. And sadly, most of it is not noteworthy.
I ran my first full Marathon, The LA Marathon.
I made it through the worst quarter of Grad School EVER
I reached one year of sobriety from purging
I spoke up for myself in my relationship
Those were probably the most important. Looking through this list though... I realized that I did not really celebrate ANY of these accomplishments. The Marathon was a really big goal for me, but I didn't achieve the time or finish that I wanted. To be honest, I was more disappointed in myself than proud (and still am). But, I'm hoping to come back strong next year and kick its ASS! Winter quarter was the worst.. and I barely scraped by. I got good grades and celebrated by sitting on my ass in bed for an entire spring break stuffing my face and feeling miserable. My recover-versary was nothing short of LAME. I still struggle with food, and emotional eating, so it feels like I haven't really made any progress in this year. I stopped going to AA, I really stopped TRYING and I guess I've just given up on myself.
I wont talk about my relationship because I don't feel like this is the place to do it... but know that things are very confusing, and I feel extremely lost in the thick of things.
Overall I FEEL LIKE SHIT... and I don't want to anymore. I don't like the way I look, I have no energy, I never want to get out of bed, So, for the first time today, I have decided that I am going to really try to do something different, instead of making a list of all the things I am "going" to do... and I will actually start doing them.
GOALS: I keep telling myself that I need to start setting weekly goals... and then I go right back in to doing nothing. When I was in therapy with Dr. Marson part of our group therapy was to make weekly goals. I really like this idea, because right now, I am struggling with just getting through each day. So, each Sunday, I am going to write out my goals for the week, put them on a flash card and place it on my mirror, or next to my mirror... ONE OF THE TWO.
My Goals for this week:
1. Stop feeling sorry for myself! (Write at least one gratitude list)
2. Complete all my scheduled exercises (4 runs, and 1 swim, and a Zumba class)
3. Go to at least one OA meeting
4. Clean up the 3 B's (My Bedroom, My Body, and my Brain)
5. Blog it out 3-5x's this week!
This seems like a really good place to start. It wont be easy, but I need to get back to the basics.
Thanks for letting me talk it out :D
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Happy Birthday EVE!
Hey There!
I hope you are all well rested and feeling awesome, because I am not (well, not completely). Doing overnight shifts is a great way to make some money by not having to do a whole heck of a lot, but it really f***s with my schedule and makes it hard for me to keep my head on straight.
After leaving work at 8:40am yesterday, I headed up to Malibu to get in my run by the beach so that I didn't have to deal with the weather in the valley. (the joke was on me, it was overcast out here all day long... but it was pretty muggy).
I mean really, who wouldn't want to run here every single day?!?! I managed a little over a 5 mile run, did Day 3 of the 30 day ab challenge, and then came on home to what I was hoping would be a shower and a nap!
Well, I came home and showered and eventually fell asleep for about an HOUR! it was a mess. I was wide awake and hungry. I made myself some lunch before my good friend Sederia came by for a visit. She brought me my birthday present, and made me feel like a schmuck the luckiest girl, ever, to have such an amazing friend.
She bought me a book by Jessica Alba, The Honest Life
It has tips on food, beauty, style, products, home decor and even baby suggestions that are all about living naturally. This is the perfect reading companion for my current "Clean Eating" and living obsession right now :D. She also added a really cute green glittery "C" key chain that she picked me up from Vegas and a $25 dollar gift card to Trader Joe's!
How does she know me so well?!?!?!
We sat and bitched chatted for a bit about life, relationships and family until I had to leave to go to my OA meeting. I hadn't been to a meeting in about 2 weeks, and I really was looking for any reason not to have to go... but in the end I am SO glad I did. I got to see some people I really love, and hear exactly what I needed to hear.
I ended my day with dinner (I was STARVING by the time I got home) and a little excursion to the grocery store. Remember when I decided I was going to give up dairy and eggs the other day?!?!?! Well, apparently NO ONE carries Soy Yogurt ANYWHERE! I went to two stores last night, and NOTHING, NADA, ZILCH! I almost went to a 3rd, but it was after 9 o clock and I was exhausted!I'm not sure if this is a sign to just keep doing what I'm doing, but I guess I'll tray again next time.
Thankfully, after doing some reading, writing and meditating, I was able to drift off to sleep. I woke up really early this morning, even though I'm still EXHAUSTED, but I may try to drift back off for a bit.
I'm planning on getting in some Yoga today. My lower back is killing me, which is a sign to me that I need to take it slow today... so I shall. Chat with you later!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Terrific Tuesday, Day 2 of the 30 Day Ab Challenge
Good Morning (yes, it is 4am where I am)
I am working an overnight shift for work, 12am-8:30am, and trying to get a bunch of ish done. So I figured I would blog about my Tuesday. Today was a really great day!
I started out the day with an exhausting 3.2mile hike with a 1,803 foot elevation gain and a Max Elevation of 2,947. In other words... that shit was straight up hill!! It was also extremely hot outside, and we did not bring nearly enough water, so I spent the remainder of the day feeling grossly dehydrated. After the hike we did Day 2 of the 30 Day Ab Challenge. 20 sit ups, 8 crunches, 8 leg raises, 8 push ups, and 12 sec plank. All and all, it was a good day for some physical time.
When I got home all I wanted to do was jump in my pool! During the hike I had mirage visuals of just floating in the cool breeze. Well, at 10am the pool wasn't quite what I wanted, so I dipped in, and then tanned for a little bit while reading.
The rest of the day, I spent relaxing and trying to nap (this was not hard considering how dehydrated I felt). I watched only a little TV, and spent most of my time just trying to drift off into la la la.
Later in the evening I had dinner plans with some friends I use to work with at a nice Italian restaurant called Guiseppe's in West Hills. It was a cute little Italian place that had lots of great options. However, because I wasn't sure how it was going to go down, I just planned on having the soup and salad. It was just my luck that their soup of the day was a tomato based Vegetarian soup that was TO DIE FOR! and the salad bar was pretty awesome too!
I even got this fun little tomato monster in my salad :D. The food was good, and the company was even better. I then went home to try and drift right off to sleep! It didn't quite work out the way I wanted to, but I'm making it work with tons of coffee now!
Sweet Dreams!
I am working an overnight shift for work, 12am-8:30am, and trying to get a bunch of ish done. So I figured I would blog about my Tuesday. Today was a really great day!
I started out the day with an exhausting 3.2mile hike with a 1,803 foot elevation gain and a Max Elevation of 2,947. In other words... that shit was straight up hill!! It was also extremely hot outside, and we did not bring nearly enough water, so I spent the remainder of the day feeling grossly dehydrated. After the hike we did Day 2 of the 30 Day Ab Challenge. 20 sit ups, 8 crunches, 8 leg raises, 8 push ups, and 12 sec plank. All and all, it was a good day for some physical time.
When I got home all I wanted to do was jump in my pool! During the hike I had mirage visuals of just floating in the cool breeze. Well, at 10am the pool wasn't quite what I wanted, so I dipped in, and then tanned for a little bit while reading.
The rest of the day, I spent relaxing and trying to nap (this was not hard considering how dehydrated I felt). I watched only a little TV, and spent most of my time just trying to drift off into la la la.
Later in the evening I had dinner plans with some friends I use to work with at a nice Italian restaurant called Guiseppe's in West Hills. It was a cute little Italian place that had lots of great options. However, because I wasn't sure how it was going to go down, I just planned on having the soup and salad. It was just my luck that their soup of the day was a tomato based Vegetarian soup that was TO DIE FOR! and the salad bar was pretty awesome too!
Behold my current reading list :)!!!! Super Foods was LITERALLY just give to me by a coworker, but Skinny Bitch is what I am currently in the middle of reading.
OK, so I've mentioned Skinny Bitch a couples times lately, and now is the time to talk about it. I find the book very fun, poignant and sarcastically motivating. It takes a tough love approach to educating you on the horrible things that are done to our food and explains why going vegetarian is so important. Although I wish the book title was "Healthy Bitch" instead of "Skinny Bitch"... I just have to reaffirm that difference in my head on my own. My own path to being a vegetarian started for health (and figure conscious) reasons, and not necessarily from a "Animals Rights" perspective, but now having read the first half of this book, I am taking it a little more seriously. You'll have to read it on your own to discover all the horrible things that are done to animals, and I HIGHLY recommend that you do! To be honest, this book has convinced me that I need to go completely vegetarian (aka eliminate dairy and eggs from my meal plan). However, since both of these things are main staples in my day, and I still have a ton of dairy products in my home, I have decided that I am going to ween myself off of dairy, and eventually work my way to eliminating eggs to. I consider this completely doable, since I really only consume Greek Yogurt and Feta Cheese on the regular. For now, I have configured a 3 point plan to help catapult Operation "Clean Up My Food". 1. Continue to stay away from refined and Processed sugars (IE, cookies, ice cream, cakes, and any other delicious looking goodies). Tyler and I made a pact to stay away from recreational sugar for 30 days... and I am now in Day 5 of the plan :) 2. I am going to finish up the containers of Greek yogurt that I have in the fridge and then make the switch cover to a soy based yogurt. I will also then begin to use soy cheese products when necessary. 3. I will begin to only eat eggs every other day until I feel comfortable enough to eliminate that from my meal plan as well. Enough blogging, I think its time to get back to my readings :).Since the beach is on my way home I was planning on getting in a run near the waves before going home in the morning. Hopefully it works out as planned. Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Motivational Monday
Hello Beautiful People!!!
Today is Monday, and I am feeling super Motivated and inspired. I realize that I have been REALLY off with my blogging lately, and I promise that I am going to TRY and make it better :) Life has just been somewhat crazy lately, and I haven't been taking the time to sit down and handle my shit!
Things are going really good for me right now, I have about 93 days of abstinence from purging (Yay!!!), and for Today, I have the binging under control and I am eating clean. My clothes are still very snug and I have to be somewhat selective with what I choose to wear, but it has finally become the motivator I need to get my ass in gear!
Sooo... I when I went to group therapy on Friday afternoon, our therapist introduced us to The Healthy Mind Platter... (please read more about it here).
Right now, I'm focusing on my Physical Time:
Today is Monday, and I am feeling super Motivated and inspired. I realize that I have been REALLY off with my blogging lately, and I promise that I am going to TRY and make it better :) Life has just been somewhat crazy lately, and I haven't been taking the time to sit down and handle my shit!
Things are going really good for me right now, I have about 93 days of abstinence from purging (Yay!!!), and for Today, I have the binging under control and I am eating clean. My clothes are still very snug and I have to be somewhat selective with what I choose to wear, but it has finally become the motivator I need to get my ass in gear!
Sooo... I when I went to group therapy on Friday afternoon, our therapist introduced us to The Healthy Mind Platter... (please read more about it here).
Balance is a crucial key in Recovery, and life in general. When we eat, we should have a balanced meal of Carbohydrates, Healthy Fats and Proteins. When we work out, it is important to balance fun with function (aka ZUMBA!!!) as well as balancing the muscle groups we work (circuit training). For the past few years I have balance a work life, school life, family life, intimate life, and social life (what little I had).
The Healthy Mind Platter Helps us balance (and carve) out time for things that are important to us and our functioning. Like all great things, balance of these 7 essential times (Sleep, Physical, Focus, In, Play, Down and Connecting) is essential for optimal brain functioning. Lately I have been COMPLETELY off balance (with food, life, and exercise)... So I become motivated to start working on balancing my plate.
My favorite part of the Healthy Mind Platter is that nowhere does it involve FOOD!!! Granted, I know that eating well is essential for functioning, I can appreciate that it is not an integral part of this model. So much of my life has been wasted on food, and avoiding these other parts of my life. This reminds me that it is crucial, but not the sole purpose of living :)
| Me and my beautiful friend Leah after a short 3.5 mile run, and some ab work :) |
This area of my life has been severely unbalanced for the last few weeks. It was not uncommon for me to avoid a run, or ditch out on a zumba session because I just didn't want to. So VERY unlike me. So, for this week, I am focusing on getting in physical activity 6 days this week with a balance of running, hiking, swimming, strength training and taking a class or two.
Today I started out with a short, and brisk 3.5 mile run with my friend Leah (pictured above). It was hot, so we were sweating BUCKETS! But she gave me a good run for my money. Then we followed it up with Day 1 of the 30 Day Ab Challenge!!!!
However, we didn't exactly stick to the challenge (what fun is that?!?!)
Today we completed:
15 sit ups
10 crunches
10 leg lifts
10 squats
10 lunges
10 push ups
10 sec plank
Boy, did it feel good. So, I guess that is my base, and I will work up from there.
Now, don't let me fool you, I am still working on the other areas of my Platter, but I am going to talk about those in another post. Also, I have been reading the book, "Skinny Bitch" and I am now considering ditching dairy in my life!!! More on that to come. I'm not done with the book, but will write a review when I am. However, so far I find it Fun and Informational :)
OK, time to get ready to leave work. I'll chat with you guys later. Stay Motivated, beautiful People!
Monday, July 1, 2013
The Most Wonderful Month of the Year!!!
HAPPY JULY 1st, everyone!!!
This is my favorite time of year. It's summertime, I don't have any school obligations, my21st, 25th, 27th birthday is less than two weeks away, I get to catch up on all the wonderful things I DIDN'T do during the school year, and everyone just seems to be in a much better place. I am looking at this month as a rebirth for myself. Not a do over, but a rebirth.
The last few months have been very challenging for me to stick to a regiment and on plan. I have gained a substantial amount of weight (I haven't actually weight myself so I don't know exactly how much) and I am having some trouble fitting into most of my clothes and the rest I am just insanely uncomfortable in. You would think this would have been enough to keep me out of the food and in the exercise groove... but it was not. Instead it kept me right where The Disease wanted me... feeling pathetic, pitiful, hating myself and just wanting to never get out of bed or the food.
But something clicked with me on Saturday and I started to come out of the swamp that I had created. However, instead of doing it "full steam ahead" as I have usually done. I am making small changes a little at a time, and accepting that I am not the same person that I was at my peak in April. That does not mean that i can not ever return to the state of living... it just means that I can not be there now and that is ok.
Anyways, I am trying to focus on eating "healthy" foods (lots of fruits and veggies, lean proteins, healthy fats and carbs) and keeping my meals balanced. I'm also trying to focusing on my OA program. I started checking in with my Sponsor every morning at 8:45 to red two pages of the big book and just discuss it. I really stopped sending her my foods and my AEIOU's, but I think slowly I will start getting back to doing that.
Sometimes I feel like program and recovery just becomes very overwhelming. So I am going to do what I can, and not beat myself up if I cant do it. I am also trying to work on not "planning" out everything as much. I've found that I do better when I have structure, but I do not need to be worrying about Wednesdays structure when it is only Sunday.
I have some goals for This week and for July as a whole
This week:
1) Eat 3 balanced meals and two optional snacks (carbs, fat and protein) with no snacking in between.
2) Log all of my foods everyday
3) Complete question 2 from my OA workbook
5) Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day every day
6) No binging on TV (more than 3 hours in a set)
Month of July
1) Enjoy my Birthday by not celebrating with food
2) Find a good balance of recovery and relaxation
3) Attain 30 days of eating cleaning without bingeing
I will do my best to update you guys on my progress. Have a great First day of July!
This is my favorite time of year. It's summertime, I don't have any school obligations, my
The last few months have been very challenging for me to stick to a regiment and on plan. I have gained a substantial amount of weight (I haven't actually weight myself so I don't know exactly how much) and I am having some trouble fitting into most of my clothes and the rest I am just insanely uncomfortable in. You would think this would have been enough to keep me out of the food and in the exercise groove... but it was not. Instead it kept me right where The Disease wanted me... feeling pathetic, pitiful, hating myself and just wanting to never get out of bed or the food.
But something clicked with me on Saturday and I started to come out of the swamp that I had created. However, instead of doing it "full steam ahead" as I have usually done. I am making small changes a little at a time, and accepting that I am not the same person that I was at my peak in April. That does not mean that i can not ever return to the state of living... it just means that I can not be there now and that is ok.
Anyways, I am trying to focus on eating "healthy" foods (lots of fruits and veggies, lean proteins, healthy fats and carbs) and keeping my meals balanced. I'm also trying to focusing on my OA program. I started checking in with my Sponsor every morning at 8:45 to red two pages of the big book and just discuss it. I really stopped sending her my foods and my AEIOU's, but I think slowly I will start getting back to doing that.
Sometimes I feel like program and recovery just becomes very overwhelming. So I am going to do what I can, and not beat myself up if I cant do it. I am also trying to work on not "planning" out everything as much. I've found that I do better when I have structure, but I do not need to be worrying about Wednesdays structure when it is only Sunday.
I have some goals for This week and for July as a whole
This week:
1) Eat 3 balanced meals and two optional snacks (carbs, fat and protein) with no snacking in between.
2) Log all of my foods everyday
3) Complete question 2 from my OA workbook
5) Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day every day
6) No binging on TV (more than 3 hours in a set)
Month of July
1) Enjoy my Birthday by not celebrating with food
2) Find a good balance of recovery and relaxation
3) Attain 30 days of eating cleaning without bingeing
I will do my best to update you guys on my progress. Have a great First day of July!
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